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So my boyfriend of 7 years decided to leave me two weeks ago, because I confronted him about something that was really bothering me. The weekend before he ended things with me he had gone out for one of his guy friends birthdays, and this is where he met his friends girlfriend. The next morning his phone was going off constantly, so I asked who it was. He said he was getting pictures of all the guys from his friends girlfriend, so I thought nothing of it. Eventually this simple conversation turned into an all day and night thing. He would text his friend's girlfriend from the time he got off of work to the time he went to bed, and he started making sure he never left his phone in a room with me, which made me suspicious. It finally got to the point to where he would barely say two words to me all afternoon for a week straight. By this point I was fed up, so after he went to bed I decided to read the messages, and they consisted of things like her complaining that she needed to lose weight and him telling her she was beautiful just the way she was and she didn't need to change a thing, and she would vent to him about her and my bfs friends relationship problems, and what really upset me was her calling me a b**** to my boyfriend and him not defending me! He told her he couldn't talk right now because I wanted to spend some time with him and she said "whys she being a b****" and he didn't take up for me which really hurt. So I decided to confront him. I told him calmly I wasn't okay with him texting her so much, that it was interfering with our relationship, and that I didn't appreciate her calling me names and him letting her. He was pissed that I went through his phone, said that I didn't trust him and he deserves privacy. So he said he was done with me and left that same day.

So my question is, was I wrong to go through his phone and confront him about this? (Sorry it's so long)

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Although I don't agree with snooping through someone's phone, after what he did/said, I'm glad you caught him. Otherwise you'd be stuck with this guy for gosh knows how long and you'd have no idea this was happening behind your back. Don't let him turn this around on you. The guy's an a$$ and I hope you leave him and don't look back.


Plus, him acting oddly is what prompted you to check the phone. It's not like you were checking his phone because you were bored or for no good reason. You were suspicious, and rightfully so.

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I really don't think you are wrong about confronting him because if I were you I would have also. Because if you didn't it would just continue to bother you and eventually you would have blew a fuse. There is no reason for him to be contacting his friend's girlfriend is disrespectful to his friend and your relationship. I don't agree with sleeping because when you go looking for things you will definitely find it.

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I wont get into the rights and wrongs of snooping ...to be fair most people on here who snoop , have done it because they have had a gut feeling , that intuition has told them something is wrong and in the world of technology today , the first thing people do ..is grab the others person phone .


It doesn't really matter if he is angry you snooped ...because your itch was scratched , you saw what you suspected and he is bound to do a bit of transference and make this about you snooping rather then him having an inappropriate friendship with this girl ...


Also I have alarm bells ringing that this made him leave after 7 years ...I am wondering if he was looking for a way out .

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So you called your ex out for lining up another woman and paying so much attention to her while hiding it from you. Of course he left, he was already looking for an excuse and feeding her the narrative that you are the problem. And probably this is not the first time this guy has done this, either to you or relationships before you.


I know it hurts right now, but you just dodged a massive cheating bullet. And you need to remember that when he comes crawling back after he finds out that pursuing someone who would cheat on her boyfriend with his friend isn't going to be someone who will be a great partner for him.


So send his stuff to him, tell him it's done and he's more than welcome to her, and block and delete him. You already knew what was up, because he was acting so obvious it's unbelievable. There's no one quite so stupid as a cheater who thinks they're being clever. And none quite so angry as they are when they realize they weren't quite as smart as they thought they were.


You looked because he wasn't coming clean, but what in the hell did he expect? That you'd just look the other way until he dumped you anyways or cheated on you continuously. I'm sorry, but it's done. Tell him he's out of your life and to never come back and gather your support group or find a new group and don't look back. Six months down the road you will look at this and realize there were other serious red flags, because no one who is a good person and long-term relationship material pulls this kind of crap.


Voice of experience.

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