Breaking up with children

[Sara83]

Hallo everyone,

first of all I want to apolagize for my bad English and thank you.

I decided to write you cause I don’t know anymore what to do with my marriage. I’m sad and lonely and I truly want to change my life and leave my husband.

I met my husband 9 yrs ago and we immediately fell in love. I’m a nurse and I love to travel, sports and going out with friends. I just love life and my husband is quite like me but he’s on a wheelchair and I had to change my habits and hobbies. However, I would have done anything for love. In fact, I moved far from my friends and family, I quit my job because my husband has some health problems I have to deal with. And, I’m taking care of our 1 years old baby alone because my husband doesn't like to and gets mad when he's crying. We have some neverending fights because we have to change our friends or family commitments because of our baby. He starts yelling and gets mad with me but I have no choice...our baby feels bad and we have to take care of him. Moreover, he never understand my loneliness and how I feel sad and lonely without my old friends and family.

After my baby’s birth, he started treating me badly and never appreciate or respect me for what I do... in fact when I need help such a babysitter, he gets mad because of money. He didn’t want to spend too much for my health however I couldn’t sleep because my baby had and still has, sleeping problems. Well, we are so diffrent cause my baby, my family come first but he’s selfish and hates to change his life and habits for us.

Anyway, for my husband I changed my all life and I accepted everything I could for love but now, I’m terribly unhappy and lonely and I don’t want to be a bad parent. I want to be happy and I know I can cause I have the opportunity to move close to my family. But my husband doesn’t want to move away.

I don’t know how to leave him cause he says that if I would, he would kill himself. Then, he starts promising he could change but it’s been a year since his first promise and I don’t believe him anymore.

I just want to move away but it’s going to be a distaster! I don’t wanna be judge, above all because I’m leaving a disabled man. But I’m not leaving him because of his disability, but because he’s a bad husband and father and I don’t love him anymore.

What do you think? Do you have any advice?

[Helpmesavethis]

No one should judge you for leaving a disabled man... You married him... You're going to have to put that aside and look at the bigger picture. He sounds emotionally abusive to you and like he doesn't care much for his own child.... He's threatening to kill himself if you leave because he knows you won't if he threatens that. I see it as no more than a threat.... Get yourself and your baby out of there and move on with your life. Life is way too short to live it unhappy and you have to love for yourself, not someone else.