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He cheated on his girlfriend with me and I had no idea


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Hi everyone! I'm new to this site.


I met this guy through Instagram about two years ago. I was in a relationship at the time so at the time he was just another follower I paid no attention to. Things started to get rough with my bf. We broke up and got back together I couldn't trust him and we just didn't click. I tried to make it worth but later on I ended up ending things with him for good. So anyways I finally started to message these "prospects" back. He started liking my photos more and more and messaging me and from there he messaged me on Snapchat then we exchanged numbers and we really hit it off. He lives in another state but he is from the town I live on so he came to visit often. After I broke up with my ex we finally spent time together. We would talk on FaceTime until 5AM and sometimes later every day.


About a month ago I started getting this weird feeling that something was off. His family lives here too. He was here for about a week and we spent plenty of time together and then he drove back home 10 hours away. He FaceTimed me while he was driving back. But later that night he posts this girl on his Instagram giving her a b-day shoutout and called her "bae" which he usually calls me either that or baby. And he posted a picture of her so I questioned him about it. He denied that he had a gf and said she was just a friend. It was still bothering me so I brought up again and he would get upset. Her birthday is the same month as mine so he texted me "Happy Birthday baby" he didn't buy me anything although I didn't really expect him too but I felt like I deserved something a little more elaborate than a text message. I knew something was up. Next week he was coming home and we were supposed to talk about what we want and make it official.


He would bring up dudes commenting on my photos and me FaceTiming other guys. He wanted me to be exclusive to him and we were not in a relationship but we were working towards one, so I thought. And cut these guys off for him.


I put my FBI hat on today and started digging because he started to act weird and we were supposed to see each other in 5 days. When I searched awhile ago it lead me to a dead end but I said why not search Twitter and that's when I found her. She spoke so highly of him on there. I messaged him on Facebook and told him what I found and that he was a terrible person and that I was considering telling her. He opened the message and ignored it. So I did just that I found her # messaged her and told her the truth. Turns out they had been dating for almost 3 years. They broke up once last year and then got back together. She added me on Snapchat and Twitter. And we settled it like women and are both done with him well at least I am. She said she was too but who knows.


He deleted me off Facebook later tonight. I wanted to be the one to delete first but I wanted to see if he was going to message back so I could bury him one last time. He really hurt me. It's like don't want to wait for karma to get him back I want to get him back before karma does but I know it's not a good idea.


I have never been in this situation before and I'm losing my mind. I was the other woman and I feel crappy. I don't know what to do because I fell for him and this feels a lot worse than a breakup.

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Oh sheesh, I'm sorry you're going through this. What. A. Loser.


He obviously thought he could get away with this, as he figured you live in different cities, how would you both ever find out? It wouldn't surprise me one bit if you weren't the only "other" woman. I bet if you could get hold of his Instagram password, you'd find there were many. I bet he's been attempting to hit on many for a long time, and you just happened to bite.


This one's a loser. Throw him back.


I love love love!!! that you messaged his GF. And I love the way you handled it with her. You know what? You may very well find that she's back with him in a short time, because he's probably all "bae, I'm so sorry, it's you that I love", and telling her that you were the one messaging him, and that he tried so hard to get you to stop. It'll be easy, unfortunately, for her to fall back into his pattern of lies and deceit, because his words of affirmation will mean so much to her.


I know all the advice out there will be to block, delete, NC, etc. Which I ultimately think is best. But I do have empathy for you, as unfortunately, many of us have been in your shoes, in one form or another. Hugs to you for handling this with grace and maturity.

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