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I'm scared of saying I Love You


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Good evening everyone,


Thanks for taking the time to read, advice appreciated!


Background: I have had a couple long term relationships in the past, like most people. After the last one ended I decided I was pretty young still, and sort of 'switched off' dating so to speak. I had no interest in dating anybody and ended up having an amazing few years doing what I wanted to do.


Current Situation: I started a new job about 6 months back. I ended up meeting someone who started when I did. About a month later I found myself telling her I liked her?! And turns she liked me back. It was like she came out of nowhere when I wasn't seeking anything. We began dating and seeing eachother more and more often. Now, 5 months later I find myself fallen in love with this girl. I just have a fear of telling her this for a few reasons. I don't know if the feelings mutual and don't really want to ask if I can help it. I also don't know how soon is 'too soon' to tell her and obviously I don't want to ruin what we have because I spoke too soon to her.


Any advice is appreciated, thanks!

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I say...if you feel it...say it.


You're not saying it to hear it back. You're not saying it to manipulate the situation. You're only saying it because you feel it. That's the only reason there should ever be in my opinion.


Opportunities come and go. Things change. Everything is always in motion...fluid. Maybe you'll wait for "just the right time"...but it'll feel similar to how it feels now...


Follow what feels good.

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Five months, in my humble opinion, isn't too soon. I doubt she would still be with you if she didn't at least like you a lot While I understand your apprehension in telling her this, at least you will have your answer - if she loves you back - based on her response. Hopefully you two are on the same page. Good luck.

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Five months is still the honeymoon stage. I would wait a few more weeks (i.e. past the 6 month mark) just to make sure that I mean it, but that's just me. Imo, saying the L word should be about expressing what you genuinely feel regardless of hearing it back (i.e. satisfying the personal need to say it should be enough on its own). That way, there is no reason to regret it even if it's not reciprocated. Imo, the main thing is to be true to ones own self.

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