says she doesn't want to hurt me

[idekjaf]

i've been talking to this girl i've know for 2 years for almost two months, and we both like eachother, we have kissed many times, and i even asked her to a school dance. she is now saying because of her past relationships she thinks she will hurt me. she says she really likes me and that's why she wants to end it. she's afraid i will end up like her last two boyfriends who turn to drugs and suicide after she broke their hearts. she is my first gf and she thinks somewhere along the line of us dating she will break my heart and i will "be ruined." i told her i know i'll be able to handle a break up and won't turn to drugs or suicide, and we had a long talk about it and she says she "will get over it" and "be okay with it". she was planning to drift away from me after the school dance bc she thought i was gonna get hurt by her. she says she is a bad person and i shouldn't be with her because she is "bad news" i don't know what to do i really really like her and want to be with her but she thinks i will be ruined. we also talked about sex last night. i'm a virgin, but she has had sex with 3 different people. that doesn't bother me at all, the problem is she really wants sex. i'm ready to lose my virginity, but she feels like she is "pressuring me into sex" and she thinks she is stealing my innocence. she told me this morning that i "won't lose her" but idk what that's supposed to mean.... help

[MissCanuck]

I'm a bit confused. You say you've been talking to her for a couple months, and then you later refer to her as your girlfriend. Are you two a officially a couple?

 

To clarify, did her exes actually commit suicide? I am unclear what "they turned to drugs and suicide" means, exactly. I am not sure if that means they threatened to, or if they actually followed through.

 

Whatever her reasoning, she's trying to end it with you. If she thinks she will hurt it, it's because she knows she will - she doesn't feel the same way about you that you do about her. It doesn't really matter if you feel you could handle a break-up well or not. The point is that she doesn't feel strongly enough about you to continue, unfortunately.

 

This isn't the girl for you, and it's certainly not the girl to have your first sexual experience with. She is trying to tell you in so many ways that she doesn't want the same things you do. I know it sucks. But you would be wise to let her go and move on to other girls who share your desire and reciprocate your interest.

[Andrina]

Always listen to what a gf is saying to you and take it at face value. She's either a coward and isn't breaking up with you but trying to get you to do the dirty deed, or she doesn't want to feel guilty when she breaks your heart since she did warn you of her self fulfilling prophecy. The right girl will have 100 percent confidence of being with you. The right girl doesn't carry around stinky baggage from the past. The right girl is not a broken person, aka bad news. What appeal Debbie Downer has for you is puzzling. Be smart and move on. Isn't dating about having fun with someone and enjoying their company?

[seanryder]

When someone tells you who they are...believe them!

[ThatwasThen]

She is the best kind of eff buddy a boy could want. Enjoy what she is offering if you have your way with her. Just believe what she's saying to you and don't fall in love with her because of the sex... Just enjoy the deflowering and then YOU be the one to leave the relationship in the dust. Tell her that you're on board with not getting with her romantically but are willing in any way she is also willing. Keep it real and be honest. If you want more then just a deflowering then you're asking the WRONG girl for that and you should just distance yourself as far away from her as possible.

[Ziggy123]

Uhhh if her ex boyfriends commited suicide she probably has a lot of issues to work through with that. Probably feels guilty and like it was her fault. I can't imagine going through that. Maybe she really does like you but has to deal with what she went through?

[Honeycomb8]

When someone tells you who they are...believe them!

 

Yeah stay away from people who prewarn you on how they are, or if they say they're a bad person or bad news. Chances are, when sht turns sour and goes down badly (it def will) she'll be all like 'I did tell you at the start didn't i'

 

 

Break up and keep away.