firstluvstruck Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Let's say the first date is on a Sunday. Both people have weird schedules and busy jobs (one also has a busy social life). Is 1.5 to 2 weeks until the 2nd date too long? I should give back story: Been talking to a girl online here and there since June. Finally saw her when we both had a day off. Her texting is very minimal and can be very delayed. For example, she did not reply to my request for a first date until 2 days later when she finished working. Sent a small text a couple days after our first date - nothing warranting a reply (just something that happened to me to which I thought she can relate). was thinking about sending something funny instead but that moment has passed. How long until I should call her and just ask to see her again? I think the date went well enough - lasted a long time and went to three different places. she spoke a lot and I listened. of course she could have gone home and maybe not felt the necessary chemistry to continue... So, right now I'm thinking that maybe i will call tomorrow evening (or text??) and just guage where she's at. I read online that you want to keep the momentum going, but I'm ok with giving her a little more space and seeing if she contacts me in the next couple days. My friend said give it a week (since the small text on wed). Link to comment
DanZee Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Well, you don't really know her much. I don't think a couple of weeks between dates is bad. You said she has a crazy work schedule and that could account for the lengthy times between texts. I would say, don't worry about contacting her at this point. Just text her when you think about her or if you have something interesting to say. See if she responds to that. Link to comment
Jillbob Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Its not too bad, especially as it's early days. You could text and ask how she's doing or if something reminds you of her to show you're interested. I have a crazy work schedule too and sometimes so drained to reply to people in a meaningful way so some times get back hours later Link to comment
firstluvstruck Posted September 9, 2017 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 thanks for the advice! i agree, best not to worry and just keep doing my thing. follow up questions: text when i have something to say or ask her out? no phone call then? (i like the just letting it lie for a bit and not forcing it) off topic: i wonder how many guys you girls are talking to at the same time! I know guys are but girls are getting pursued x100. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 off topic: i wonder how many guys you girls are talking to at the same time! I know guys are but girls are getting pursued x100. yes there is a queue forming right now at my front door ...!!! why do you presume this ? There are a few lonely heart broken women who will have maybe a few truths for you on here . Link to comment
firstluvstruck Posted September 9, 2017 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 you're right, I shouldn't assume. my assumption is based on online dating - girls have many more matches than guys, no? Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 you're right, I shouldn't assume. my assumption is based on online dating - girls have many more matches than guys, no? yes I would agree that online on the dating sites women get more attention then men ... but honestly the content is blah ...the messages are HI ... and that about covers it . I think we would probably all rather have qaulity over quantity Link to comment
firstluvstruck Posted September 9, 2017 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 I'm quality! Hopefully I showed it. It always takes me time to open up Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 thanks for the advice! i agree, best not to worry and just keep doing my thing. follow up questions: text when i have something to say or ask her out? no phone call then? (i like the just letting it lie for a bit and not forcing it) off topic: i wonder how many guys you girls are talking to at the same time! I know guys are but girls are getting pursued x100. People often focus on the numbers but men arent all the same... i only talk to ones who interest me and that is often zero. Link to comment
seanryder Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Initially call her once a week and ask her when is she free to get together. Forget the pointless texts.....conversations and relationships are best developed in person. Good luck. Link to comment
j.man Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 I'd be fine with dates being that infrequent. I might dramatically scale back any investment to start out, but it's fine for playing by ear. Instead of scheduling a date a couple weeks out, I'd probably tell her something like, "I'll reach out next week and we can come up with a concrete plan for [x day or weekend]" and actually follow up. Link to comment
Viewcart Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 Depends on the girl but in most cases, if you don't ask a woman on a date after more than a week it's pretty much dead news. Especially if you met her online, believe me we have hundreds of options on there and a lot of guys are aggressive to go on dates. Therefore, if you're not assertive such as calling her to see her regularly, then you will be replaced easily. If you're not her favorite, she doesn't care to respond as quickly or even bother to message you at all. Busy is not an excuse because I use that excuse on guys that I don't care about. In reality I am truly busy but if I like a man, I will make time for him just as I expect him to make time for me. Ask for her schedule then plan an exact time, location, and day for date #2 or whatever. If she can't make it then ask her what would be more convenient. If she doesn't bother to reschedule then take the hint and move on to a new girl. Link to comment
firstluvstruck Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 an update: texted her casually, and we exchanged a couple texts. then when I ask to hang out again the replying stops. not even a no (yet). last time it took a couple days so i'll be patient... @viewcart: definitely thinking she's either super busy and just playing around with the idea of having a guy, or i'm not yet her favorite. i think too highly of people for it to be the latter. or I'm just not the type of guy to juggle many girls so I can't understand it. Link to comment
firstluvstruck Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 eh if she wants to hang out she'll hit me up. this is too much lol Link to comment
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