Forgetting the past to better the future.

[NerdGurl]

Bit about myself... I grew up in a dysfunctional home, my father was abusive towards mother and brother, as for myself it was much worse. I was molested from the age of 6 to 15 by my father. Till my mom.took us away and moved away from our town.

 

Once moved from one state to another, I met a boy at my new high school... I was new to the school and did not know him well....i did not know what kind of person he truelly was till it was to late, but I did not get pregnant thankfully.

 

I have gone through allot in my life, but those being two of the major issues, I have sought help but the one person whom I cannot speak this to will not listen.

 

But... i Have prevailed through a 10yr abusive relationship and moved forward but I feel I still hold allot inside that harms me from being "TRULY HAPPY" though i am working on it slowly, I do not have the support.. and it is hard.

 

I want to feel happiness without the fear of my past haunting me.

[catfeeder]

Are you still in school? Have you pursued counseling?

[Lily1210]

Hi @NerdGurl

 

Who is this one person who will not speak to you?

 

I also came from a dysfunctional family before but lucky for me that my dad didnt do that...but I was also rape by a guy on our first date, I was really upset that time like it took me months to date guys again but you know time heals wounds...

 

You don't need to forget about your past BUT you need to learn from it in order for you to live better in the present and survive life in the future

[Alter Life]

Well, I am sorry for what those bad things happened to you.

 

My suggestions for you are:

 

- accept and forgive your past. I know it's hard, but you need to try to forgive it. If not, that will keep haunting you. Also, try to accept your past as it is.

- forgiving does not mean to forget. Don't try even to forget or run from your past, but learn from it.

- Try to be more grateful for all you have now so you can really live more in your present (instead of being haunted by your past)

- Prepare your best for the future, but don't over-think about it.

[ShatteredMan]

Well, I am sorry for what those bad things happened to you.

 

My suggestions for you are:

 

- accept and forgive your past. I know it's hard, but you need to try to forgive it. If not, that will keep haunting you. Also, try to accept your past as it is.

- forgiving does not mean to forget. Don't try even to forget or run from your past, but learn from it.

- Try to be more grateful for all you have now so you can really live more in your present (instead of being haunted by your past)

- Prepare your best for the future, but don't over-think about it.

 

Completely agree. If your healthcare provider has coverage and resources for counseling, please take advantage of it. It will help you take steps through the processes above.

 

Its easy to remain in a state of anger and bitterness toward others because you're already doing it naturally as a defense mechanism. Forgiveness is the hardest thing I've ever had to do toward someone who hurt me. However, it is like an 800lb weight being lifted off of your shoulders once you reach that state.

 

I sincerely hope you take the right steps and get help (if you need it) to get there.