Hannimal999 Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 Hi all,I hope I've posted this in the right category! My heart and head is a mess and I just need to get the whole thing off my chest and hopefully some objective advice!! In a nutshell,I feel like I've met the guy for me but he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. That's the nutshell but let me rewind to the beginning. I'm 30,I work in house for an insurance company doing their direct recruitment. I started in January after many years working on the agency side. After a couple of months I got talking via email to one of the recruiters who supplies candidates to us. To give u a bit of background this guy is 40,and owns the recruitment firm. We had great banter for 6-8 weeks over email and phone and then finally met for a recruitment meeting. There was obvious spark and chemistry immediately. He messaged me straight after the meeting and we agreed to go out the next week. We'd then be messaging constantly sometimes until 1/2 in the Morning on a week night. We have wonderful chemistry in that we both have that same mindset re banter and jokes and I felt like this was someone I'd known for years. We went out first back in April,had a great time (but didn't sleep with each other as both got too drunk) and have been out 4 More times since. So not a massive amount all in all. Numerous times he has had to cancel on me. Property abroad got burgled,needed to do something with his son etc etc. A few times I lost my patience about this n was very honest saying how I felt about him. The penultimate date we had he told Me he had two children. I only thought it was one but he has 2 who are 10 and 8. He is divorced and has been for 3/4 years. He went away to Spain a month or so ago and I decided I was going to lose my mind if I didn't get it off my chest how I'd fallen for him big time and wanted us to give it a go as a couple. We had previously discussed it and he said because of all his commitments (own business, 2 young kids,various properties he owns) we just couldn't be together. After I laid my feelings out to him via a massive text when he was on holiday I got so upset he didn't acknowldge really how I felt at all about him. But came back,suggested we go for dinner to have it out face to face. Again he said the same thing,and I just know I can't compete with his children. He was very open and said look it's not you,I just don't want to be serious with anyone right now. Already he'd cancelled on me for several dates and said if we did get together it would just disappoint me. I feel like if he really really wanted me he would have given it a go. The problem is I'm finding it so hard to move on,we still have to talk for work stuff fairly regularly. He has suggested we go for dinner,hotel etc in a couple of weeks but emphasised it will just be fun. He said it was really hard for him to tell me that last time but he could only be honest. I've agreed to go out with him in a couple of weeks but I feel like I'm making a big mistake. I've never felt like this about anyone before. Yes he's minted,yes he's charming,yes he's successful but it's the banter and how we just click which I've never had before. The fact he said we'd be together if he didn't have these commitments is some consolation to me. But if we were as perfect for each other as I have painted out here I know in my heart of hearts we'd be giving it a go. My issue is I'm finding it so hard to move on. I think I've accepted the fact we will never be together but I'm struggling to move on. I feel like my heart has been broken a little. Maybe an over reaction but I've never ever felt like this about anyone before. I know I should do no contact but it's so difficult as I still have to talk to him re work. Basically I just want this ache and pain to go away. Any advice / experience of being in the same situation would be great for me to hear. Link to comment
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