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This has been the longest period of NC since he broke up with me in January. But d@mn if he isn't on my mind, daily.

 

The fact that I'm posting here rather than the "Getting Back Together" forum tells me I am in a good place, even if I don't always feel that way. I truly have no desire for reconciliation any longer. He's not a good person. And I'm glad I finally recognized that, and told him we were done with the "let's be friends" BS. Because he didn't want to be friends. He wanted to rub my nose in his dating, and use me for that ego boost when his dates didn't work out. He loved knowing I still had feelings and took advantage of that. The longer we talked, the more manipulative he became.

 

But again, there's not a day that goes by that he doesn't cross my mind. Its rather annoying. With all my personal issues, I shouldn't have time but because of those personal issues I am limited with how much I can distract myself with new activities.

 

I've got him blocked on my phone, blocked on social media. But I check my blocked messages folder on my phone far more than I like to admit. And I've unblocked him on Facebook periodically out of curiosity.

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Love makes you do crazy thing. I hate it too. Today is my 50th day of NC. I do miss him and he still hovers in my mind. But, thought of reconciliation" naaaaaaahhhhh". Please keep him blocked. It's for your own sanity and peace of my mind. Always remember the tag of being "dumpee". Don't just feed his ego anymore. Don't be curious about him. Why don't you do something awesome in your life and he maybe in the future gets curious to know about your life. Don't let him know that you still love him, it's our problem loving them still, after going through all the break up pain. All they do is having fun with their life.

I miss my ex terribly and at time die to talk to him, but I am firm on my NC. I know if I break my NC, my all the hard work and recovering journey everything will go in vain.

Block him, keep missing him, but don't you dare to show that to the dumper, work on your life, enjoy your life af, ex is the past and now he has got nothing to do with your present and the future and this is why promise yourself that you're "not turning back". He dumped you, he'll call you or miss you, not you! *period*

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I'm on 90 days and still have feelings and thoughts toward her. In my case it's not getting easier. When I thought I was doing better, bam, I'm back down to the floor. I know it isn't a linear path towards recovery, but damn it, I wish it could be.

 

If I could invent like a medicine or anything to cure heartbreak in an instant. I would definitely do it!

At one point I got to feeling better, then I immediatly got the urge to break NC because I thought 'I can now handle contact!'. I didn't, but damn that urge was strong.

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If I could invent like a medicine or anything to cure heartbreak in an instant. I would definitely do it!

At one point I got to feeling better, then I immediatly got the urge to break NC because I thought 'I can now handle contact!'. I didn't, but damn that urge was strong.

 

Although that sounds amazing, I don't know if I would take it...at least not in the first months.

Good discussion to have though. If you could have absolute control over your emotions, would you choose to do it?

 

Like the mood organ in Philip K. "Do androids dream of electric sheep?". One dial and you're good to go.

 

One pill and you're good to go, like nothing ever happened. It's comforting, but also scary. Emotions are supposed to be strong and lasting. Imagine if you could erase love with a simple pill. Imagine your S/O doing that in a night of a bad fight...in the heat of the moment. You'd then be forced to do the same without learning anything from the experience.

 

Hummm, anyway. Good topic.

 

Although, if such a cure existed, after 90 days, I'd definitely take it. This sh*t hurts too much.

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Although that sounds amazing, I don't know if I would take it...at least not in the first months.

Good discussion to have though. If you could have absolute control over your emotions, would you choose to do it?

 

Like the mood organ in Philip K. "Do androids dream of electric sheep?". One dial and you're good to go.

 

One pill and you're good to go, like nothing ever happened. It's comforting, but also scary. Emotions are supposed to be strong and lasting. Imagine if you could erase love with a simple pill. Imagine your S/O doing that in a night of a bad fight...in the heat of the moment. You'd then be forced to do the same without learning anything from the experience.

 

Hummm, anyway. Good topic.

 

Although, if such a cure existed, after 90 days, I'd definitely take it. This sh*t hurts too much.

 

Aye, that's true. We actually joked about it in another sense. If you could flip a switch and turn of your thoughts and emotions for a while would you do it? We came to the conclusion it is useless, because it simply meant putting the pain off to a later day.

But yes, while this sh*t hurts like hell we do learn from it. At least I did learn new things from it. That's also a thing, if you could erase the feelings but also the memories and the lessons learned, most likely you would not take it.

 

But yes, my god I am still fighting that urge every day. I was feeling so frustrated today and I wanted to talk to someone. Immediatly got that urge again.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I have now reached 90 days of NC!!!

 

Still not quite ready to date again, but more due to being really busy. I started job hunting again, still taking classes towards my BA, and now I'm preparing to move.

 

Hang in there people. It does get better! And listen to the advice, stick to NC. It really is good for YOU in the long run. Its amazing the change in perspective in 30, 60, 90+ days.

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I have now reached 90 days of NC!!!

 

Still not quite ready to date again, but more due to being really busy. I started job hunting again, still taking classes towards my BA, and now I'm preparing to move.

 

Hang in there people. It does get better! And listen to the advice, stick to NC. It really is good for YOU in the long run. Its amazing the change in perspective in 30, 60, 90+ days.

 

Awesome to hear! I am actually very close to you. A bit over 90 days.

 

Similarly I am not ready to date, I am happy to hear it from someone else. I thought something was wrong with me. Also very busy. Last friday I got a deal at work to get more hours to work, I am working hard on a project currently. Furthermore, I've gotten a machine learning course done last friday as well. Sporting a lot working hard on it.

 

It does get better! Still have to get rid of the last bits of attachment, but my view is shifting definitely.

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