MartinMac Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 I've been with my girlfriend for about 12 years. We met when we were both young and fell in love about a year after dating. Around 5 years ago we moved in with each other and things were good. We had our rough patches like any couple but always worked through them. She would give me signs she was ready for a child and although I felt we weren't ready financially I loved her so I thought, why not? I'm 32 and she is 28. We tried and after a test we found out she was pregnant. She didn't seem too excited for some strange reason. I thought maybe she was just scared as it's her first baby but come to find out, it was because she wasn't really happy with me anymore. She didn't know if she was in love any longer. It was a knife through my heart. Here she is, at the time 2 and a half months pregnant with our first kid and she's telling me this now? NOW?! Saying she felt stuck and was forcing it and that she deserves to be happy. I'm at a total loss for words. I mean, I too deserve to be happy and put a lot of my goals and dreams on hold because of her. I didn't want to leave her behind to persue them. NOW she's telling me SHE isn't happy while pregnant with our first child?! Couples fall in and out of love, I get it, it's normal for long term relationships but to want to end it after letting me lay up with you to have a child?! Is it the hormones pushing her to the brink of wanting to break? Is she just overwhelmed? I asked if she was willing to work on our relationship to save it and her response was she don't know if she could. And counseling I feel Is of no use as I already know the root cause of our issues. I've fallen into depression, I can't eat. I can't focus on work. Right now I'm up in the middle of the night laying next to her as she sleeps and I'm here dying inside tossing and turning looking for help on this forum full of strangers. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel betrayed that she would do this to me and I'm starting to become resentful towards her. I feel as if she's robbing me of my future. Robbing me of my little family. I cried and cried Damn near begging her not to give up on us. She would say yes but it felt forced almost out of pity for me and days later I'm feeling the distance again. No kisses unless I initiate. No I love you unless I say it first. We haven't been intimate in weeks. I feel it's the beginning of the end. I want to walk away but I'm afraid if I move on she is going to regret it. Or worst Yet, she moves on and finds another man while I'm still trying to get over her. We went out to buy baby clothes for a shower we were invited to and she makes comments about our baby and how I need to get used to buying baby clothes and in my mind I'm like "for what?" You want to leave me and raise the kid on your own. My worst fear is that she's met someone else but she told me she didn't. I believe her. She isn't that type of girl and is always home if not at work. I asked a hypothetical question to her that if she's fine with the idea of me being with someone else and she said no, but eventually will have to be. Just shoot me again why don't You? Then again I shouldn't have asked that dumb question but I just wanted to see where her head was at. I've talked with her mother and she too is perplexed as to why she is doing this now. She wants to be happy she's about to be a grandmother but when she brings up the baby my girl isn't up for talking about it. Yet she can talk about the baby and how she looks forward to certain things but if anyone else does she's not too receptive. She is now going on 4 months and although things seem normal when she gets home from work, she has regular conversations with me I can still feel the distance and I'm just a mess. I'm crying throughout the day in total disbelief. Here I am about to be a Dad I should be on top of The World but instead I just want to get burried in it to make it all go away. Has anyone out there gone through trying times like this with their significant other and made it out alright? Should I press the issue and just speed up the process and send her back to her mothers If she genuinely believes she isn't happy with me anymore? My heart tells me to keep fighting for us but this anticipation is creating mental health issues and I just can't keep pretending things are alright when I know they're not. I'm lost. I feel hopeless and I'm living my worst nightmare. Somebody help! 😖 Link to comment
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