Louie44 Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 My wife has a password on her phone and refuses to take it off! I've asked her politely and waited and still she won't. She says she's not doing anything and I should trust her. I do not have a password on my phone but my wife has seen that I deleted texts from my mother, I only deleted them because they were negative texts. My wife states she won't get rid of password on her phone because I delete texts!!! What should I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 I have a password on my phone and I am married. Being married doesn't mean you have no right to privacy. I have a passcode on mine in case it gets lost . I have nothing to hide but I don't want to share my apps and banking and work info with the rest of society should my phone get lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bah Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 I think you should trust her. I mean you married her... I understand its frustrating but knowing a password into someones phone is like invading privacy to some people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snny Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 I'm also married and I have password on my phone. I like keeping my data (photos, videos) secured, because ANYONE can steal your phone and start using your data; even "better," a thief can start sending my personal crap to themselves or other strangers. I also work in an atmosphere with teenagers with cognitive disturbances and are very tech savvy. Not that I have anything inappropriate, but even the most innocent thing can be misconstrued. You need to chill out. Also, you're not being smart by leaving your phone unprotected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlight925 Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 Do you have reason not to trust her? Does she have reason not to trust you? Passwords on phones are extremely important these days, as Snny says, for all of our protection. My phone is actually company-owned, and it requires a new 8-digit password every 90 days. It's about trust.....do you have it, or not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 I'm also married and I have password on my phone. I like keeping my data (photos, videos) secured, because ANYONE can steal your phone and start using your data; even "better," a thief can start sending my personal crap to themselves or other strangers. I also work in an atmosphere with teenagers with cognitive disturbances and are very tech savvy. Not that I have anything inappropriate, but even the most innocent thing can be misconstrued. You need to chill out. Also, you're not being smart by leaving your phone unprotected. Amen sister. I don't want people using my family photos etc. I also have the feature turned on where it wipes your phone after too many failed attempts . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 I have a password on my phone. I do it to keep my things private (such as financial information!) AND because my company requires it. A password doesn't mean I'm doing anything wrong. It means I'm being smart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 I have a password on my phone and I am married. Being married doesn't mean you have no right to privacy. I have a passcode on mine in case it gets lost . I have nothing to hide but I don't want to share my apps and banking and work info with the rest of society should my phone get lost. Same here even though I do my best to keep banking info off. And I'm not even sure if my husband has a passcode- because I have no reason to look at his phone (I think he's asked me to once or twice to text someone for him or similar -don't remember if it had a passcode, irrelevant to me). I agree that people have a right to privacy no matter what their marital status. And any couple can agree to share passwords or access -that's their business but it has to be a mutual decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 You don't like that she has a PW. She's apparently on top of your personal correspondences to know you've deleted texts to your mom. Do neither of you trust each other? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Blaze Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 There should always be a password on phones IMO, you guys dont seem to trust each other which is the bigger issue. my parents have each others passwords but ive never seen my father use my moms phone or demand her to take off the password. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louie44 Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 So if your husband asked you for the password would you give it to him? I understand the password for protection from fraud of course. I don't understand when it seems to be sneaky or fearful password. I also don't understand if I asked for password why it's no? If she asked me I'd gladly give my phone to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journeynow Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 There should always be a password on phones IMO, Yes, that was my thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journeynow Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 What should I do? Put a password on your phone. It's for security in general. As for your wife's password, you do nothing, except let it go. Why do you need access to her phone anyway? Did you delete texts from her phone or yours? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louie44 Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 I deleted texts from my phone. This isn't about a password for security or fraud reasons. It's the simple fact that she isn't giving me the password!! If you have nothing to hide then why not please your spouse. All it would take is for me to find nothing on her phone and I would quit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 So you don't trust her. Why be married? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louie44 Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 I want to trust her... we have two little ones, I can't just up and leave. I love my kids Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journeynow Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 Why don't you trust her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 Is she untrustworthy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louie44 Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 Is she untrustworthy? I don't know She has lied to me before small minor things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louie44 Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 I imagined being a team when your married. I got your back and you got mine type of thing. It seems since we married its more of a power trip for her. I've made some major bone headed financial mistakes in my life and she puts me down because of them when we fight. She says I'm a financial burden and she can't get the house she wants because of my credit and situation. I know I've made mistakes. I can't do anything about the mistakes now!!! We just got married 2 months ago and been together for 6 years. She knew all this going into our marriage. She has my self esteem low and the password is making it lower. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louie44 Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 Btw, I've always worked. I make 65,000 a year. Not great but not bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 I don't know She has lied to me before small minor things. Lied about what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snny Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 I hope I make sense with is, but the thing about marriage and privacy is like this... Having boundaries within and around the marriage are two different things. You have ownership and individuality. You and your wife own the relationship together, BUT you don't claim each other's individuality. You can't force your wife to change or make her give up something, and vice versa. That's where the boundary of privacy lies. Ultimately, the presence and respect for each other's privacy does ensure a quality relationship between spouses because it is an expression of trust- the foundation of any relationship. By maintaining the division between very personal life AND marriage life, both spouses are able to maintain their individuality and personal identity. There is nothing wrong with keeping secrets or not sharing things as long as it doesn't affect your relationship with each other. Just because you are married doesn't give you permission to access her personal things if she isn't ok with it. If couples are ok with sharing their passwords and personal stuff, then that is on them. But being invasive will cost your relationship more mistrust. Like Seraphim mentioned... If you do not trust her, then you shouldn't stay married to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 I would never let anyone go through my phone. I have nothing to hide, but that invasion of privacy would make me intensely uncomfortable. I would let anyone go through my drawers, my medicine cabinet, my fridge, or my music collection. That feels too personal to me. I don't mind letting a SO USE my phone. But to go snooping? No way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 I have a password on my phone and I am married. Being married doesn't mean you have no right to privacy. I have a passcode on mine in case it gets lost . I have nothing to hide but I don't want to share my apps and banking and work info with the rest of society should my phone get lost. Same here. I know my hubby's passcode and he knows mine. Nothing to hide at all, just a safety thing in case it gets lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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