My exbf is contacting my friends... Meaning?

[Schockobaerin]

My exbf, the one i love very much, dumped me (three weeks ago) for the second time in our 14 month relationship, because he still hasnt healed from his past relationship, and the typical "i love but im not in love with you", "i want to be alone", "im afraid of commitment", well of course being the typical doormat gf, I tried to bargain with him (with no results) and after a very strong depression, I broke NC after 10 days, where he told me that there is nothing to be done "for now", so I just went totally NC with him and dissapeared from FB and erased all the common fb groups we were together.. I must admit, that slowly Im healing (It still hurts, and Im still want him back), but one thing is for sure now... I dont want breadcrumbs and more insecurity and my mistake in the first break up was that we comunicated often... I went silent on fb, he as well (for 4 days him, Im since one week, when I initiated NC again).. The funny thing now, is that a common friend, called me to ask me how I was doing (my close friends are being very supportive), that my exbf was inviting him to social events (this isnt the norm) and that he didnt want to go.. I was like, your friendship has not anything to do with our friendship, you have to go out, you must be neutral... Then one of my best friends called me today to tell my that my exbf wrote to her, asking about how she was doing, and telling her when she was coming to spain (she is going to live there) so maybe he can visit (, we were planning this travel together, but whatever) My friend kindly answered that she isnt still there, but they can keep in touch..They know each other and for a fact I know he is very fond of her, I do not think he likes her in another way or something like that, and then the cherry of the top, he invited ME to one of groups on fb... Now this is coincidence (can be) but it is very weird, I think he has a lot of healing to do before he can come near to me, and I MUST heal as well, but I dont know what to think about it. for now I told my friends, that in the case of him asking about me, nothing must be answered, and I just ignored his invitation, if he wants to contact me, well he knows how to find me..

 

But what do you think? Im overthinking this? Is just a coincidence? or a sign he is missing me? anyway this only indicates Im doing the right thing going NC, because I need to heal, and he needs to learn to value me anyway, and if not, then Im in the process of letting him go. I just want to ask you guys and girls what do you think? Thank you for your advice

[abitbroken]

He might be trying to contact them so they will report back to you about him, or maybe they'll say something so he can check up on you. I would encourage your close friends who were your friends long before he was around to please not accept his communication and most of all - do not share information about you.

[Schockobaerin]

Thank you, you were right, he called me this morning and we talked a lot, he stills "does want to become friends" and im still "want to be with you" position, we just made an agreement, that we cannot talk in a looong time, so we both can heal properly and so he can miss me correctly to see if this can be fixed or not. One thing is for sure, there is a lot of love, but the timing and his emotional baggage is in our way, so the best thing to do now is to part ways and see what the future has for the both of us. I dont know if I was wrong, but we are adults (34-35) and are long in the tooth to play games. Im very surprised Im this calm, but anyway Im still sad, because we have a very special connection, but if its mean to be, we are going to find again our way back together, if not.. Well is better this way.. Thank you for your answer And Im going to follow now your advice about sharing info about me, I was doing this, and have to keep doing it. Have a nice Saturday