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Too soon to have doubts


turnerik

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We have been boyfriend girlfriend for about a month, talking for a little over 2. Relationship moved super fast but we've always been able to talk about anything. The other night we got in a little fight. I got really angry but we were on the phone so she didn't really know. We talked about it yesterday when we saw each other Now I'm having some doubts about everything.

 

We are madly in love, but something feels off. We both are pretty clingy with each other. Neither of us have been in a clingy relationship before. But today I really didn't want to be clinged on.

 

I'm not sure if I'm off because I'm still a little mad about the fight, just having an off day or what.

 

She's a teacher so she just lost most of her freedom. Maybe I'm just worried about that.

 

I'm not sure if we should talk about it or I should just see how I feel next time I see her

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From what you have said, I would suggest that this relationship might end up going south sooner or later.

 

After only talking to each other for 2 months you got mad at her over something she said? And now this has swayed your feelings? You are madly in love, but your feelings have been swayed? Neither of you have been in clingy relationships, but this one you are although you don't want to be today. As I suggested, this just sounds like the plane is going down already.

 

Things like this tend not to happen so early in relationships that are made to last.

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It sounds like you are suffering from something I like to call "too much togetherness"

 

My sister laughs when I use this phrase. It stems from a family vacation where we were all together in close quarters for a long time. At one point I sneezed, and before I could open my eyes to assess the situation (did I hurt anything? Do I need to sneeze again?) - someone handed me a tissue, 2 inches from my face. I lost my cool. It's not that the tissue-hander had bad intentions - quite the opposite! It was quite innocent! It's that sometimes you just need room in your own skin and you can get kind of claustrophobic and angry - and sometimes feel like you can't breathe (smothered).

 

That's the problem with clingy relationships.

 

When she said "are you done being grumpy now?" - if you had enough space in the relationship, you'd laugh. If you are already feeling smothered, that kind of comment can definitely set you off! It can make you feel like you don't even have room to have your own emotions.

 

I think that this is a learning moment. It's important to give (and receive) space in a relationship, otherwise even the tiniest thing can set a person off. It's not personal, it's human nature and you both won't need space at the same times.

 

Anyways - I agree with Keyman that this relationship might be done. It's hard to come back from that smothered feeling. But now that you know how that feels, you may want to be conscious not to create that feeling in other people (you said you usually like to be clingy). Live and learn.

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