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Need some solid advice with this break up!


Danking

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Ok, so to cut a long story short my gf broke up with me, we have a 1 year old together and im really struggling. I have had severe depression for about a year and didnt fully appreciate and understand what was going on in my head. I was trapped and stressed with life and didnt realise the extent of what was going on, and always put feeling low down to money worries or work stresses. I didnt stop and look at the bigger picture. Because of this my ex gf was left feeling a little bit unwanted and guilty, as she thought i was low and stressed because of her. Because of this depression i buried my head in the sand and didnt communicate well with her regarding my feelings. I feel awful after realising all of this as i truly love her and would do anything to have my family back. We havnt fallen out she just says that right now shes not 'in love' with me. Ultimately, i just want to know if time and space will help, or if the love she once had for me can come back. Im taking action against my depression, and putting in great effort to right my wrongs. but i cant help but want to do this for a second chance. I have always been a good provider and good dad to my son, so i dont know whether this is just her wanting head space and time to truly be herself.

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated 🙂

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How long were you together?

 

It sounds like she struggled a lot, too. It's not easy being the partner of someone who is depressed, stressed and shut down. It likely left her feeling very isolated and disconnected from you - hence her apparent detachment now. However, given that you have a child together, she may be willing to try again after some time has passed.

 

Are you currently living together? What steps are you taking to deal with your depression?

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How long were you together?

 

It sounds like she struggled a lot, too. It's not easy being the partner of someone who is depressed, stressed and shut down. It likely left her feeling very isolated and disconnected from you - hence her apparent detachment now. However, given that you have a child together, she may be willing to try again after some time has passed.

 

Are you currently living together? What steps are you taking to deal with your depression?

 

Thanks for the reply, we were together for 3 years, i moved out a couple of weeks ago as she needs space and i didnt want to turn this situation hostile as we still care for eachother a lot.

Im currently on medication and talking with a counsellor, to be honest With this help iv got a real drive to beat this depression as i no its the cause of our break up. I just hope that this isnt the end. She has definitely suffered as well. I just hope she knows i didnt shut down because of any negativity towards her and that i do love her very much!

Thanks again for the response!

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Do you tell her that your depression wasn't about her and that you love her very much? Many women want and even need to hear that, I think some men don't understand that. It's good that you're working on healing, but do it for yourself first, and for your relationship next. The fact that you have a child together means you will likely be connected in some capacity for a long time. I hope that you can resolve your issues and heal toward a healthy relationship so you can parent your child together.

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