Ladies input please

[Prince3245]

Hi everyone,

 

I need help! So far this summer I met two great girls who i liked. Not at the same time, but one after the other. At first things will go well. I always text goodnight and good morning and give compliments. After doing that, the girls start to distance themselves and blame other issues for not talking to me. I show affection to them because I don't want to make it seem like I want just sex. Is texting a girl everyday bad? I know the saying that if you matter to him/her, they will make time for you, but their excuse are insane. the excuses are tearing me apart because i feel like its my fault. I always ask them to be honest and be true to themselves and if they are not interest be straight up. I don't know if texting them goodnight or good morning everyday is bad and telling them they are beautiful is bad, but its not working. Any advice would help.

 

Thank you in advance.

[DanZee]

I think after a week or two, just give up. They're not showing any interest in you. They know how to reach you if they want to.

[purplebyr]

Just become yourself and your style of approach in dating. Nothing wrong with saying good night and good morning or whatever but for me, it can be a boring style. Compliments can also found fake.

 

So try to be genuine with them and show the sincereness you have but still independent. If they like you, they will like your good morning message and also make time for you. If not then they are not. It is not that complicated. They are not your girlfriends so you dont have to sacrifice something to them..

[Sportster2005]

Hi everyone,

 

I need help! So far this summer I met two great girls who i liked. Not at the same time, but one after the other. At first things will go well. I always text goodnight and good morning and give compliments. After doing that, the girls start to distance themselves and blame other issues for not talking to me. I show affection to them because I don't want to make it seem like I want just sex. Is texting a girl everyday bad? I know the saying that if you matter to him/her, they will make time for you, but their excuse are insane. the excuses are tearing me apart because i feel like its my fault. I always ask them to be honest and be true to themselves and if they are not interest be straight up. I don't know if texting them goodnight or good morning everyday is bad and telling them they are beautiful is bad, but its not working. Any advice would help.

 

Thank you in advance.

 

Less is more.

 

If they are making excuses, you've probably already lost them. Next time try backing off a bit. Also, a lot of people just won't tell you straight up, they're not interested. It's difficult and awkward. Pay attention to cues and subtleties. If they are making excuses not see you or contact you, that's all the information you need to make a judgement.

[indea08]

Yeah you need to leave a little mystery. Or in your case, a lot of mystery.

 

CALL and ask them out for dinner, maybe send a text the next day saying you had a nice time and would love to go out again. Then leave it alone for a few days. When you have a brilliant idea for a second date, CALL and ask for second date. Again, follow with a text saying something like "you looked beautiful tonight, can't wait to see that smile again." Then leave it alone for a few days.

 

Daily texting is relationship stuff. And honestly even then, for some people, that's too much. Just slow WAY down, space things out and try to make the dating phase last a few months. Maybe by like 5-6 months, you can start asking about moving the relationship forward (become exclusive).

[indea08]

Oh and "please be honest and just tell me if you're not interested" translates to "I doubt you're going to like me because I don't even like me so please don't lead me on like I think you will." Don't say that anymore.

[abitbroken]

Yeah you need to leave a little mystery. Or in your case, a lot of mystery.

 

CALL and ask them out for dinner, maybe send a text the next day saying you had a nice time and would love to go out again. Then leave it alone for a few days. When you have a brilliant idea for a second date, CALL and ask for second date. Again, follow with a text saying something like "you looked beautiful tonight, can't wait to see that smile again." Then leave it alone for a few days.

 

Daily texting is relationship stuff. And honestly even then, for some people, that's too much. Just slow WAY down, space things out and try to make the dating phase last a few months. Maybe by like 5-6 months, you can start asking about moving the relationship forward (become exclusive).

 

I totally agree! But i wouldn't go with the "you look beautiful" text after a first date. Refer to a funny story she told or something she related in relation to her interests or intellect.

 

I think you are going through the same routine with every woman and not treating them as individuals. the good morning/night texts should be for a steady girlfriend.

 

Also, if they say they didn't write back because they were at work or at a birthday party -- don't automatically think they are making up stories. That could be true and genuine. And then you decide to write them off.

[Prince3245]

Thank you