puppylove2 Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 There's a lot to this story but I will attempt to summarize. I've been dating this guy for about a year and a half now. I met him when I was just getting out of a pretty toxic relationship, and he was like my knight in shining armor. He was sweet, romantic, respectful and reminded me of what a good relationship should be like. I fell head over heels...fast. We bonded over an intense love for music and animals. As the months went along, I started to see his angry side. He was insecure and had jealous tendencies. He had horrible road rage. He bragged about the idea of hurting people. He has never been the least bit violent towards me however. And for someone who claimed to love animals, he didn't act that way. He would scream and spank his own large dog over hardly anything...even biting her to show dominance. This made me incredibly upset. I confronted him about it several times. He's gotten better with it. Again, I stuck around because he never directed his anger at me. Skipping ahead. I just bought a house and we moved in together. He's made a lot of positive changes to get his sh*t together so we can have a good future. He is still an angry person but has definitely improved, he's gotten better with managing his finances, and just started back to school to pursue a degree. Though sometimes I feel like he makes decisions only to please me and my parents (who aren't fans of him), rather then because it's what he wants. His angry tendencies are starting to affect me. I find myself feeling angry in situations where I would've never felt that way before I met him. Before moving in together, we tried to introduce our dogs. My little chihuahua didn't react well to his huge dog. Even though it broke my heart, I put my boyfriend first and left my dog behind with my parents. A couple of days ago, I came across a super sweet little tiny rescue dog that was up for adoption. She had been through so much...was found darting in between cars, covered in matts and ticks. My boyfriend came along to see her and was so sweet to her at first. She loved everyone. So I bought her home. We attempted to introduce his dog to the new one. Things were great for about 5 minutes, until his dog stood over the new one. The little one felt threatened and showed her teeth. Didn't growl, didn't nip...just tried to communicate that she needed space. Ever since then, my boyfriend has been nothing but cruel. The past few days have been horrible. He's stayed in a separate room because he doesn't want my sweet little ball of fluff around his 60lb dog. He told me I never asked if he was okay with getting her, even though he was there when I did...and acted as though he loved her. He angrily told me not to get attached. He now refuses to give her any attention, calls her horrible names, and glares at her until she barks or growls. Then acts as though she's the one with anger problems. She has never growled at anyone else. I know she is picking up bad vibes from him. This is a side to him I've never seen. It has to be jealously. The dog is just the top of the iceberg. At this point, a future with my boyfriend seems like a horrible idea. He made me so happy at first...but mostly unhappy as of late. Building a life with someone who can get SO angry at just a tiny rescued dog...what would he like with kids? I feel bad because he has made so much personal progress. He is so attached to the idea of a future with me, and marrying me...splitting up is going to be devastating for him. I've told him that he needs to take his dog and leave for a few days. He claimed I was choosing the new dog over him and his. That isn't even close to the problem. If you were in this relationship...would you keep trying to make it work? What would you do? I've thought about counseling but I don't even know if there's a point...I don't know what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 Never stay with someone who bullies innocent creatures, EVER. It screams severe psychological issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puppylove2 Posted August 28, 2017 Author Share Posted August 28, 2017 Never stay with someone who bullies innocent creatures, EVER. It screams severe psychological issues. You're right. It's disgusting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 I mean you've seen it not once but twice and you're still with him. Why not leave him and provide your new pup a loving home? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 Get away from this man, for good. He is bad news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 Wow....I'm sorry OP but this isn't jealousy, this is psycho sh$t. You need to get away from this guy asap and please for the love of, that poor little dog has had enough abuse in her life. She doesn't need any more. Please either rehome her to where she won't get abused, or get rid of your bf and keep the dog. Your bf's pscyho behavior aside though, it was actually pretty irresponsible of you to adopt this little pup knowing from experience that the large dog you already have at home doesn't play well with other small dogs in the home. Why would you do that to either of the dogs? It's actually very difficult to bring a new dog into the household when you already have one dog there. Even more difficult when the existing dog has shown you that he won't appreciate the situation. In the future, maybe work with a dog trainer on how to introduce the dogs properly so that they are able to get along instead of just throwing them in together and hoping for the best. Things don't work like that with dogs and with large dog/small dog sheer size difference, you are actually risking the small dog's life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 I think you misunderstood my post. The big dog is completely fine with other dogs. No issues. I know how to properly introduce dogs, I've done it many times. But thanks for being an ass about it. Sorry when you said that you had to give up your little one to your parents and then that with the new one the big dog intimidated her, I mistook it for a problem. My sincere apologies about that. Your bf is still an azz though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puppylove2 Posted August 28, 2017 Author Share Posted August 28, 2017 Sorry when you said that you had to give up your little one to your parents and then that with the new one the big dog intimidated her, I mistook it for a problem. My sincere apologies about that. Your bf is still an azz though. No worries, thanks for the apology. It takes no consideration at all for me to say the pup stays and the boyfriend leaves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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