Boyfriend won't forgive me?

[sarahb2247]

My boyfriend have been in a very loving relationship for over three years. A few days ago my boyfriend made the plan for us to hang out after he got off of work. Two hours after we were supposed to meet up he messaged me saying he had to stay at work late and asked if "I'd be mad if we didn't hang out tonight". I was pretty disappointed and "yeah that's fine. but I really wanted to." He said "I didn't plan to work 12 hours today" which I understood. Due to my disappointment of our plans not working out I didn't answer his last message he sent me about him not planning to work 12 hours. I didn't respond until the next day and when I did I saw a new message he had sent : "I'm tired of having to make plans to hang out then them not working out. I tried and clearly failed. Trying to make you happy ends up with nobody happy. I'm exhausted and don't want to feel like the victim anymore." I felt awful when I read this message because I never wanted to act unappreciative towards him or make him feel as if he didn't do enough for me. I waited a few days hoping things would get better. But our conversations drastically decreased. I gave a sincere apology to him for making the selfish decision not to answer his message. He didn't really respond to my apology and only replied with "ok". He texts me still but when I change the subject to talking about our disagreement he changes the subject or acts as if I never mentioned the fight. During fights he normally doesn't tell me how he feels so when he told me "I'm exhausted and don't want to feel like the victim anymore." I was happy to hear his point of view. One day I messaged him basically saying "I feel terrible I hurt you but I am happy you told me how I hurt you because it showed me how greatly my actions can hurt who I most care about" he responded with "ok" again. Yesterday I tried bringing up the issue again. I asked if he still believed that "trying to make me happy ends up with nobody happy". He said "kinda". I asked him why he felt that way and he said "I already told you. Hence why I said it." I need advice as to what move I should make next. I tell him I'd like to see him in person soon and he always just says "I know" now or "yeah". I've been trying as hard as I can but am not seeing any progress.

[MissCanuck]

As I said in your previous thread about the same fight, you really need to stop apologizing now. You can't make him want to talk or see you.

 

In my opinion, he is blowing this all out of proportion and holding it over your head for some reason. Usually when someone does that, they're mad about something else and trying to "punish" you, or they're looking for a reason to distance themselves.

 

Stop asking to see him. Stop apologizing. He is going to have to make a little effort here if he wants to patch this up. If he doesn't, you have a bigger issue on your hands then just this one disagreement.

[HeartGoesOn]

Thread already exists, (below).