Guilt and blame

[Nomorehappy]

Hi,

 

One of the issues I'm dealing with is the fact my partner faults me for everything. I'm at fault for not wanting to listen and care about his ongoing battles with his ex wife. He says things that directly impact our future together, but gets angry when I show concern about how it affects me ("stop making this all about you!!"). I don't have a say - he wants me to simply accept the way he is, stand by his side, not worry that he may potentially leave me high and dry later on down the road.

 

During our last argument, he said he could not live without me in his life. He was so upset we fought. Yet, he continued to make me feel bad for every concern I brought up.

 

I cannot stay in this, yet the breakup will be horrible. I will be made out to be the bad person, I will feel tremendous guilt because of how he said he can't live without me (yet he's willing to leave me at the drop of a hat if circumstances permit).

[Andrina]

Most breakups are horrible. So what? It'd be more horrible to live a lifetime with toxicity. He survived just fine without you before he met you. This is emotional blackmail, and he doesn't matter anyway. You're responsible for your own life, and to make it the best you can, and that involves ditching Mr. Wrong.

[Kaykayxo]

Sounds typical. Gaslighting to make you feel like your feelings are not valid. A healthy love listens and cares, and does not tell somebody how they should or should not feel. He sounds like trouble... is he worth it?

[Nomorehappy]

Sounds typical. Gaslighting to make you feel like your feelings are not valid. A healthy love listens and cares, and does not tell somebody how they should or should not feel. He sounds like trouble... is he worth it?

 

Yup. He doesn't care at all what I think. He flat out told me to stop making everything about me. He actually said that before he proceeded to say how he's willing to just leave me in the dust if the circumstances make him do so.