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EX said he wish I would get pregnant


kitty90

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My ex and I ended things about a month or so ago. We are both 26 and have been together for 6 years. Things have been very confusing between us because we were still seeing each other after the 'break up'.

 

We had NC for the first 2 weeks but he called me up last week. He asked if I wanted to have lunch at his place. I asked him why he is doing this. And he replied that he was doing what comes to him naturally - because we always spend weekends together at his place. In a moment of weakness, I agreed.

 

At his place, I told him that I will be going to Tokyo alone (we have been planning this trip for awhile but he was always very iffy about it) and that night, he said he wanted to come with me. We had sex and he came inside me. I panicked and questioned him why he did this. We have always been very careful and this was not like him at all.

 

So all of this happened last weekend and we continued talking to each other from monday to wednesday like as though we were back together. On Thursday, he addressed this situation. I guess it struck him that he wasn't ready to jump back into the rs. I was caught blindsided. I thought he wanted to make things right between us when he told me that he wanted to go Tokyo with me. And he was even so reckless about the whole sex thing. I wanted to get the morning after pill but he kept reassuring me that it would be fine, I need not get the pill.

 

Thursday night when we talked about this, he said that a part of him somehow wished I would get pregnant so he could find a reason to stay in the rs. What? Why would he think this? Why should this be a reason for him to want to be together with me?

 

The reason we broke up was that he felt like he would be selling himself short if he stayed with me. He loves and cares for me a great deal and that he has even considered settling down with me because he knows that would make me happy. But this isn't what I want either. I just want him to be happy also.

 

He still texts me asking me how I am doing. He tells me he is still hurting and breaking down everyday. Somehow it is slightly easier on my part because I told myself that he has already fallen out of love with me, so I must move on. It saddens me that he is going through such pain because he feels guilty for not being able to love me the way I have loved him.

 

I am confused because I don't understand his actions. Should I just give up hope and move on?

A part of me does wish that we could fix things..

 

I am now hoping that my period would come and that nothing happens. I am very emotional today and I need to let this out. Thanks guys for reading.

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I feel like some men are just empty pits who will suck a woman dry and still not know what to do with himself. I mean you guys were together for 6 years so there must be way more too it but just off of the current situation, I find it odd. He clearly has strong feelings for you, and enjoys the benefit and security of the relationship but feels he would be "selling himself short"? He will most likely soon realize there is not much more out there in life and all relationships take work and come crawling back. But hey, we all put up with what we allow. I have been in your shoes and def had a weak spot for the guy and continuted to let him back in even after he hurt me and showed me he could not fully be what I wanted. I actually AM pregnant by him now and nothing has changed, still the same confusing emotions and very uncertain about the future (which is even worst when you have a lil one on the way and are going to be a parent!!).

 

I know you consented to the unprotected sex but I find it kind of unsettling for him to just do that without you guys discussing it or using BC. Almost like he is trying to trap you to him in a sort. Not saying he is but it is a strange thing to do/say especially when you are trying to back out of a relationship at the same time. Sounds like a very confused guy emotionally. I would just kindly explain that his actions and words are confusing you and that you need some space and want to be just friends. Perhaps by you drawing a line he will come to his senses and be proactive about getting you back and keeping you. At worst, he accepts your words and both of you are able to move on without all the extra mess and drama (and unexpected babies).

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Like the old song, you never know what you've got till it's gone. Well, you're gone, he blew it, and he doesn't know what to do know. Admittedly, it's irrational, but maybe he thought getting you pregnant would at least keep you in his life (for the next 20 years or so).

 

After six years he tells you that remaining with you would be selling himself short? Don't take that from him. You're better than him. Dump his ass. You'll find someone better.

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