Ziggy123 Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 Yes that is very true and hat is what people should always do instead of betraying....talk to their partner. Hopefully op has learned that Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I think if you really love someone and want to spend your life with them you wouldn't break up for something like that. I would have went to therapy and talked it through but maybe that's just me. not too many people who have been cheated on would agree to that... thats like in a way victim blaming. Link to comment
Ziggy123 Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 That wasn't my intention. I was just giving my opinion as my ex did the same thing and that's how I felt about it. Link to comment
SGHB Posted August 27, 2017 Author Share Posted August 27, 2017 Listen this is an anonymous forum. I have no reason to lie here. I love my girlfriend and want to marry her. Period. I have some stress issues in my life that I need to work out. Some people seek out alcohol or drugs to cope -- for whatever reason I was seeking out attention. I had no intention of ever meeting anyone outside of text messaging. If I did, it would have happened. My ex saw the actual texts via screenshots. They were flirtatious and even sexual in nature. Again, not sure why I chose to do this but had been going through some health and work stress. The woman that chose to contact my girlfriend did not have to share details of our conversations. She was malicious and cruel -- she wasn't just hurting me she hurt someone innocent as well. If she felt the need to "busy" me fine. No need to go into specifics though. She is sick and obviously had some emotional breakdown from some guy who actually cheated on her. The people on here acting as if this woman is some martyr likely fall into that same camp. I feel sorry for anyone who can't forgive and move on. I've been cheated on -- so what. I've learned to forgive that person and recognize if I had been more attentive to their needs it would likely not have happened. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I guess I don't understand why you couldn't reach out to your girlfriend during these "stresses". If you want to marry her, wouldn't the two of you work together to deal with stress? Wouldn't she be the one you turn to? And blaming the other woman is not accepting responsibility for what you chose to do. If she was "malicious" what would you be called? And YOU also hurt someone innocent with your actions. The blame can't all be laid at the doorstep of the other woman. Anyway, I presume your ex doesn't see the situation the same way you do. I can understand that she might be concerned the next time you have "stress" in your life you might choose to do the same thing again, which would be even more unacceptable in a marriage. Link to comment
SGHB Posted August 27, 2017 Author Share Posted August 27, 2017 At no point did I place the full blame on this very lonely, bitter woman. I accept my actions and realize I caused the breakup. That doesn't mean this woman was just or somehow "doing the right thing". Relationships are complicated and cannot be explained in some black and white context. Right now I'm struggling not to text my girlfriend. I honestly don't know what to say after her series of nasty texts last night. I'm trying to see if she will calm down and miss me if I vanish for a few days. We've text every day since the break up and she has tortured me and punished me relentlessly. Not saying it's unwarranted but at some point she needs to either forgive me or forget me. I don't think catering to her texts every waking moment is accomplishing my goal for getting her back. She claimed to block me and frankly, I'm afraid to even check because I would be devastated. Link to comment
Ziggy123 Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 Sometimes you just need to leave it be for a while and give her space to calm down a bit because obviously she is really angry at you still Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 That wasn't my intention. I was just giving my opinion as my ex did the same thing and that's how I felt about it. I was just giving mine.. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted August 28, 2017 Share Posted August 28, 2017 I guess I don't understand why you couldn't reach out to your girlfriend during these "stresses". If you want to marry her, wouldn't the two of you work together to deal with stress? Wouldn't she be the one you turn to? And blaming the other woman is not accepting responsibility for what you chose to do. If she was "malicious" what would you be called? And YOU also hurt someone innocent with your actions. The blame can't all be laid at the doorstep of the other woman. Anyway, I presume your ex doesn't see the situation the same way you do. I can understand that she might be concerned the next time you have "stress" in your life you might choose to do the same thing again, which would be even more unacceptable in a marriage. I second this entire post. I think right now the best thing you can do is leave her alone and give her space. Use the time to reflect and learn. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.