I haven't been myself for a year now:(

[Queenmarie24]

So a little past history very lengthy post, sorry about the punctuation errors I tend to type fast. Anyways I grew up in a very abusive home that obviously affected me throughout my life. I was also molested younger years by a family member that also affected me obviously. I have been not myself for a while now a year to be exact I started smoking cigarettes which didn't help I am quitting next Thursday. So hoping that helps I guess. I started not feeling myself when I started smoking and when someone very close to me passed away! Also my fiance had lied to me twice about an agreement we had he broke that agreement! It was an very important agreement. My in security's are at a all time low I hate my body day in day out I never see myself as pretty or beautiful .. I'm tired of feeling this way I hate it.... It is also started to affect my relationship with my fiance because I'm always so paronoid about situations that didn't even happen and also my in security's don't help at all. I'm trying to get better by seeing a therapist and taking the appropriate medication they prescribe me.. My appointment for all of that is next week I also have bad anxiety attacks ugh.....

[Seraphim]

I was also molested as a child and my father was abusive and neglectful. I will tell you after about four years of therapy through out my life and particularly EMDR therapy I have been a lot better. I am more than 3 decades from my abuse though.

[DanZee]

Yes. All of the things you mentioned are pretty typical for molestation and sexual abuse. See the doc. Try to find encounter groups in your area to talk about your experiences (talking about it to others helps to heal). Tell yourself you are pretty. (If that's you in the picture, you're very cute). If you can't trust your boyfriend, leave him behind and move along in your life.

[Queenmarie24]

Yes that's me in the picture

[Seraphim]

I wouldn't suggest group therapy sessions as an introduction to therapy and it can be quite intimidating and distressing . I think that's more for people who have been through therapy before and are OK with people knowing what happened to them. I would start with finding a counsellor that you are comfortable with and that deals with sexual abuse of children .