Before we broke up I tried to make a deal

[electric2324]

my BF of 3 months/90 days broke up with me on August 14. I tried to invite him to meet me in my city in April before the break up. He broke up with me after this invitation. I highly doubt he'll be here for that but my plan is to keep NC and hope he will realize how much he loves me and maybe travel ?

[DanZee]

You're hoping that a guy you barely know will visit you in April and what? Have a one-night stand with you? Maybe he might, but that will make you feel even worse when he dumps you again. Have you even met this person in person or is this an Internet-only romance? There was obviously a reason for him to dump you. Perhaps he met someone where he lives. Maybe he's tired of texting. Move on and find someone where you live that you can date and love.

[loip9114]

Harsh as it may sound, I also highly doubt he will come to your city. Maybe on at trip once for himself, but I do not think he'll come for you. 3 months is quite short to make such a journey after a breakup.

Keep up the NC and you'll be better sooner than you think!

[electric2324]

I don't want to sleep with him.I want him to make a commitment for the future and by his actions always speak louder than words.

[electric2324]

Harsh as it may sound, I also highly doubt he will come to your city. Maybe on at trip once for himself, but I do not think he'll come for you. 3 months is quite short to make such a journey after a breakup.

Keep up the NC and you'll be better sooner than you think!

I have known him for 3 years. We were FWB and then I moved away and 2 years later he agreed to a LD relationship. I think I overwhelmed him with too much contact. I just see his pictures and Im dying inside to be with him. Does that additional info make any difference ?

[loip9114]

I have known him for 3 years. We were FWB and then I moved away and 2 years later he agreed to a LD relationship. I think I overwhelmed him with too much contact. I just see his pictures and Im dying inside to be with him. Does that additional info make any difference ?

 

Yeah it does change it a bit. Knowing each other for 3 years makes a difference. Yet it is hard to tell if FWB is enough to create such an attachment as to travel to your city for you. Then again, if you were FWB before and it's April which is also a time from now. It might also occur.

Hahaha tbh my answer would be: it's possible, but don't expect it to happen.

I mean at the time around April you might actually have had contact or starting to contact each other again. I would just not start planning on it.

[MissCanuck]

Why did he break up with you?

[electric2324]

Why did he break up with you?

I think he met someone else but he just sent me a text saying it was time for both of us to move on it became pretty intense and emotional. im crushed.

[MissCanuck]

Oh dear. I'm very sorry you're hurting.

 

I think if you only dated three months and he ended it by text, you need to let go of the idea that he will come to you next spring.

[electric2324]

what can I do to increase my chances of getting back together ?

[figureitout23]

what can I do to increase my chances of getting back together ?

 

Pretty low I'd say. I mean even when you two were in the same state he only agreed to FWB...so distance wasnt always your problem... also he probably sees your desperation to be with him so he treats you like an option. He knows you're not going anywhere so he can jerk you around. You can do so much better.

[electric2324]

We both lived in a big city and met in the city at a mutual friend's house. It was amazing getting to know him and he seemed very interested in getting to know me as well. The FWB was stressful but so much fun, we laughed we shared stories we really hit it off he even joked that he wanted to marry me. I am just so torn up because he FINALLY agreed to take it a step further even though he was always dead set on never having a long distance relationship. I truly wish him well, I just struggle that he has blocked me pretty much everywhere !!

[MissCanuck]

I'm sorry OP, but it seems this relationship just didn't have legs.

 

It hurts, yes, but this is why someone who struggles to take a FWB to the next level is best avoided. Their feelings just aren't the kind you need for a relationship to work.

[electric2324]

I do have a confession to make. I was very busy with work and a new project and I pushed back our 'meeting' date from October to April. I really did want to see him but it was just too stressful to try to keep up with a long distance relationship when I was trying to have a framework for a successful project at work. I feel really bad that I wasn't more available throughout the relationship, but I would also just bombard him with attention in certain instances where it probably just go t too much for him. Can I reach out and apologize for over contacting and kind of ignoring him through this critical project timeline that I had at work? It s so hard not to focus on one thing at a time but to focus and pay attention to multiple people as well.

[MissCanuck]

You can apologize, but don't do it in hopes it will change his mind. It likely won't.

[figureitout23]

Your confession didn't change anything.