Jump to content

Not Sure What to Think About This


Recommended Posts

So I am a single female in my mid 40's. I have been divorced for 10 years and though I have dated I have not met anyone that I wanted to have a relationship with until recently. E and I were introduced by mutual friends and we live just a few blocks from one another. He is two years younger, divorced for many years and single as of 6 months ago after a 4 year relationship.


E is not normally the type of man I am attracted to but we really have hit it off and have spent time together with our friends over the past few months. We also have spent some one on one time together just talking, listening to music and learning about each other. This past week, as I was leaving his place he gave me one gentle brush on the lips kiss goodbye. Our first kiss and one that took me by surprise, and even more surprising knocked my socks off!! I was not expecting the chemistry we felt. We have talked every day this week and last night when I was helping him in his shop, (he rebuilds old hot rods and sells them, he doesn't have any staff so I stepped to help him one day when I saw him struggling to do some wiring when it was obviously a two person job - I work in telecom and I know how to wire electrical) he started talking about how he enjoys my company and that I have a great personality, he loves my company but he needs to take baby steps with me. Now I don't mind baby steps, actually many of the dates I am been on that haven't worked out is because I do not jump into bed with anyone on the first, second or third date. We had never talked about dating or us being in a relationship, he initiated the kiss and now he is talking about baby steps but then throws a comment about when we have sex the first time it will be fantastic??????


I am not sure what to think about baby steps and since most men, in my experience, want to jump into bed ASAP instead of taking it slow I don't know what to think of this. As for sex down the road, well if this does continue to develop of course that will be on the table. So does he just want to be friends and if something develops great and if not we're friends? Or is he attracted to me but is worried that if we get together it will make things weird with our friends, so let's take it slow. Other than my ex husband, I have always been able to remain friends with the men I have dated and not let things get weird. What happens between us is between us and no need to bring others into it is my mindset.


I hadn't thought of a relationship because I am just enjoying what we have now so I was surprised by this and now I am confused. I have never had a man tell me baby steps before, does he think that we have relationship potential? He isn't hiding the fact that we hang out together and he always texts me when he is over at the neighbours to come and join them. Ever since the kiss I do get butterflies when I think of him but I chalked the kiss up to him being curious if there was mutual attraction between us and nothing more.


Thanks for letting me get this off my chest...now I am interested in the feedback. I am completely game for letting things stay status quo and develop a relationship organically if that is where this leads to.

Link to comment

I am not sure what your question is exactly. It seems you are smitten and trying to anticipate the future. Unfortunately there is no mind reading or crystal ball here.

Take a deep breath, live in the moment and the answers to your questions will present themselves soon enough.


About the sex comment.

I would interpret that as him suggesting that the fact you've taken it this slow up 'til now and will continue into the future that the anticipation having waited will make it even more exciting.

Don't let that comment throw you

Link to comment

Woah, put the brakes on, you are over thinking this way way too much!


He likes you, he wants to build a solid foundation and make sure it is right for both of you. Baby steps is a good thing and to be honest, sensible and letting you know that whever is happening between you two that he wants it be be worth it and to go slow.


Be flattered by his words, not upset. I would feel it's a good thing.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...