Found out about my partners past. I am now an intolerable monster!

[mrhurt26]

Hey, new here. And in desperate need of help. So here goes,

 

Two years ago I met a fantastic women in work. I was 26, she was 50. We fell in love. And up until maybe two months ago. It was a whirlwind of romance.

 

Two months ago, another 27 year old from the workplace I work, (she gas since left) turns up on her doorstep. Fine, right. After asking what the guy wanted she started to get upset. After a few minutes, she admitted they went on a date.

 

Anyway, she was a mistress to him for 10 months. She knew of his girlfriend. Still had him around whenever. She also called him to make sure he kept a straight story if I was ever to ask. She spoke to her friends, comparing me to him. I was 'toyboy no 2' to her friends. Never referred to me as Matt.

 

She even slept with this guy while with ger long term guy. And also frequented 'toyboy' websites.

 

I'm pretty much destroyed. I had her perched on the highest pedestal.

 

I asked her outright before our first date if she has dated anyone from work. Her answer, 'God no'

 

She even guilt tripped me many times, saying it was a date, people date. You'll ve hearing rumours we were shagging next. She was. Someone please advise me.

 

Thanks for listening

 

Matt

[melancholy123]

I hope you dont plan to see this woman anymore, she cheated on you. You need to take time to heal from this and get professional help if you think it's necessary. Then find a woman your own age. You were a toyboy for sure.

[glitterfingers]

She sounds like a dishonest person, and all you need to know that is the fact that she initially lied about dating someone at work. Why would she lie to you about that? Probably because she didn't really respect or care for you.

 

Someone who's doing this at 50, cheating on their long term partner and duping younger guys, is someone who has a whole tonne of issues that you want to steer well clear of. Some people only learn their lesson about these things when they get burned, so if I were you, I'd do both of you a favour and walk away.

[mrhurt26]

She did end it with the guy I work with 1 month before we had our first date. I know I didn't make it perfectly clear in my post.

[mrhurt26]

I would of walked in an absolute second. What a damn mess

[mrhurt26]

And of course. First experience, with a more mature women. And yes, the lying about dating someone at work.

 

She says, how could she admit that. When he had a girlfriend.

[DancingFool]

So was knowingly the other woman. What does that tell you about her character?

 

I think this is exactly what it looks like - you are just a boy toy to her and she is having fun with that without any regard for anyone's feelings. Heck you aren't even boy toy #1.

 

Nothing to put on a pedestal here. Just a good shag if when you feel like it and that's that. If you want an actual relationship, then end the games with her, take some time off, get your head screwed on straight and then date a nice woman closer to your own range. One who is not looking to play you.

[Seraphim]

You met a person with very little respect for herself and none for anyone else . Unfortunately those people exist in every age group . Stay far far away from her and don't even give her the time of day .

[mrhurt26]

Thank you for you replies.

 

What hurts, is I have more regret from snooping, then she does for any of the bad mouthing or lying. If she would just take one ounce of responsibility. We're going to France next week. When we get home she is moving house. Albeit closer to me. Want's me to move in. Either with a mortgage share. Or lodge. I need to think long and hard.

[Hollyj]

The women has no value system.

 

I would be done, as I would have zero respect. She has shown you who she is, it is your responsibility to act. DO NOT EVER BELIEVE YOU WILL BE THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE. This is who she is: selfish, lying cheater.

[Hollyj]

Thank you for you replies.

 

What hurts, is I have more regret from snooping, then she does for any of the bad mouthing or lying. If she would just take one ounce of responsibility. We're going to France next week. When we get home she is moving house. Albeit closer to me. Want's me to move in. Either with a mortgage share. Or lodge. I need to think long and hard.

 

Oh goodness.

 

Don't be surprised when the same happens to you.

[Seraphim]

Thank you for you replies.

 

What hurts, is I have more regret from snooping, then she does for any of the bad mouthing or lying. If she would just take one ounce of responsibility. We're going to France next week. When we get home she is moving house. Albeit closer to me. Want's me to move in. Either with a mortgage share. Or lodge. I need to think long and hard.

Absolutely do not go to France or move in anywhere with that woman !

[Hollyj]

Absolutely do not go to France or move in anywhere with that woman !

 

Unfortunately, it looks like he is going to have to learn the hard way, judging from his responses.

[mrhurt26]

I know, I know. Just reading what I have written, makes me look at things in a different light.

 

France is paid for. And I need a holiday.

 

But I will be not moving in with her. I'd love to show her this. But I know it would break her. And i'm just not that kinda guy.

 

So difficult it kind of makes me feel sick, i mean, real sick. And I never get nauseous. Appreciate your replies.

[Hollyj]

How can her behavior "break her?" She never cared about how her actions effected others. She was fully complicit.

 

Time to take your blinders off.

[Seraphim]

I know, I know. Just reading what I have written, makes me look at things in a different light.

 

France is paid for. And I need a holiday.

 

But I will be not moving in with her. I'd love to show her this. But I know it would break her. And i'm just not that kinda guy.

 

So difficult it kind of makes me feel sick, i mean, real sick. And I never get nauseous. Appreciate your replies.

 

Then YOU have a great time in France. She can stay at home .

[mrhurt26]

Good point. All I get is, 'you shouldn't judge me'. It's going to eat me up anyway. I have decided I'll never get over her behaviour. Just need to grow some balls.

[Seraphim]

Good point. All I get is, 'you shouldn't judge me'. It's going to eat me up anyway. I have decided I'll never get over her behaviour. Just need to grow some balls.

 

You need to judge behaviour in our significant others. ALL. THE. TIME. Anyone who whines that they shouldn't be judged is full of ....

[pippy longstocking]

Look she clearly likes the young boys ... I am 50 and it is rare in my friends anyway , that we would find your age group attractive for anything more then sex ...That sounded terrible I know and ageist , but in the cold light of day that age gap is just too big , the experiences, how life was 50 years ago , for us growing up , compared to someone in their 20's .

 

She had her fun and will clearly carry on having her fun .

[reinventmyself]

She can't possibly care about you if she objectifies you by calling you `boy toy #2'

It doesn't take away your worth but it says a whole lot about her self serving character.

[mrhurt26]

She doesn't refer to me as 'Toyboy no2' now. That was to her friend. A male she was in school with. Who she discloses all of her sexual experiences with.

 

She says it's 'bravado'. Didn't want to look silly, when I left her after a couple of weekends.

 

I have met her parents, and her mine. She says, after a 7 year relationship, which wasn't the best. She vented. And didn't feel good about it. But then slept with him again, in the middle of her affair with the guy I work with. Even though she didn't CHEAT. She was a mistress. And dressed, acted accordingly.

 

I wish I would of done a background check before our date 2 years ago.

 

Because this information was in plain sight really.

 

Si f'ing stupid.

[mrhurt26]

The bottom line is,

 

She has obviously chose me as the best male out of the lot. But how the hell can my insecure mind accept that now? She crys and pleads. But I have read the messages saying toyboy 1 she had dynamite attraction for. Because obviously he was taken for. Exciting I suppose. I was Mr normal. With small gifts. And food. And she said ti her friend, 'but toyboy No2 shows me affection'

 

My affection was because I fell innlivebwith her. Nobody else did. Just strung her along