heyyjude Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 My guy of 4 months went on vacation for 3 weeks this month. Before that, we were both traveling a lot at different times, so for a few weeks we had only a week in between his trip to mine and another week between mine to his. He was gone for 3 weeks and in those 3 weeks, I spoke to him on the phone once and FaceTimed once. His texting game was very wishy washy, which is very unusual for us. Before he left, we were perfect, I thought. We went out 3-4 times per week, he always texted me every day, and always responded to me. Of course I thought his communication, when we weren't together, was lacking but I looked past it because he treated me so well and our conversations were amazing when we were together, which again, was very often. After he left, he wouldn't text me at all, and if I texted him, he would respond hours and hours later with some closed off random comment, no trying to continue convo or anything. I got fed up with it after 2 weeks and I said something to him. I told him what I needed from him in terms of communication. It would be different if this was a one week vacation and he wasn't speaking to me as much like usual, but not only was he gone for 3 weeks, he also didn't even know when he was coming back home so it felt even worse him not wanting to keep in touch with me. When I told him what I needed, I specifically gave him an out of the relationship. I told him very plainly that if speaking to me felt like a burden, to tell me no because I didn't want to be with someone who didn't want to talk to me. Not only did he not take the out, he FaceTimed me the next day. For a week after that, he still didn't text me first, but I was trying to be understanding of his vacation needs, and if he needed to be more in the moment and not be as communicative while he was away, then I would respect that. But I felt some sort of change because when I would text him (not Often because, again, trying to compromise) he would answer immediately and I definitely felt a small change for the better, but still a change. I hadn't spoken to him in 4 days after he told me he was flying back home after the weekend. I thought, giving the benefit of the doubt, that once he was home things would slowly get back to normal because we would both be in the same city and he showed some desire to still want to be with me. I found out today that he's been back for at least a day and he hasn't reached out to me. I'm so unbelievably confused why he wouldn't let me end things with him 2 weeks ago if he has lost interest in being with me. Not only that but why make any sort effort if he didn't? Why is he ghosting me after 4 months of being together AND I LITERALLY GAVE HIM THE OPPORTUNITY TO END THINGS?? Im hurt and confused and upset he would act this way with such little respect held for me he couldn't even be up front and honest I guess my question is, does anyone have any insight? Should I tell him it's over or just leave it and assume it's over or what? Link to comment
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