hrb23 Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 What a terrible realization to wake up to first thing. Three months of NC undone with a text I don't even know if she will see. She could easily have my number blocked so I don't even know what the damage is. Yesterday I got home and decided to do nothing, since she cheated on me and went away with her new boyfriend, I've been filling my time doing sports and activities or hanging out with friends. Well, yesterday I got home and decided to do nothing. I lay in bed and began listening to the start of the Red Sox game top of the first and woke up bottom of the ninth after a pretty serious nap. Of course at this point I was wide awake and there was nobody for me to turn to. The day had been rough, I had started chatting to someone over the weekend that I met a few weeks prior a couple states up from me, I had really liked her when I met her and this had only been reaffirmed by our back and forth. She told me she had hoped she would meet me again and told me she thought I was really cute. Great. Yesterday morning though she woke up to a joke I had made the night before and replied: "Hahaha, have a great week.", I replied with an open ended question and then sent her a cool picture of the eclipse and got no reply, so the day was already making me anxious. I was also talking to a girl that I have been into for a LONG time, I messed the whole thing up by choosing the ex in question and letting her pretty much destroy my relationship with this girl through jealousy. This girl shouldn't even talk to me, I had her blocked and completely phased out of my life because of the jealousy of my ex. I have tried to ask her on dates the last few weeks but no luck. I blew that one. I made a bad choice a year and a half ago. So I was feeling lonely, and I text her, stupid stuff. I miss you yada yada. I don't want her back, I never will, but I do miss her. She is definitely still in my head and I definitely need to get her out of there. Every time I feel rejection I get the urge to text or snoop. Up until last night I had been strong. I guess i'm not that strong person I thought I could be. I really don't know where to go from here. I thought I was healing but this proves i'm not. Therapy didn't help and I guess neither has getting out there. I have such a great job in this city but am starting to really feel cutting everything away from my life and moving somewhere new is the only option if I want to truly move on and be free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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