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Should I Get Back Together with my Ex Girl Friend


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I was with my ex 3 monthes before we finally called it quits 2 weeks ago. We met a couple times before actually dating but fell for eachother really quick. I was going to be moving away a month after we got together so we decided we weren't going to get to attatched. We hung out everyday until I left. I didn't end up thinking we'd get together to begin with because the first night we met she talked a lot about her ex (someone who I'd already known before meeting her and who would play a big role in our relationship) and how he broke her heart. I wasn't even gonna ask for her number because I was certain she wasn't over him yet but to my complete surprise she asked for mine. She's a streamer but has been banned multiple times for lewd conduct. She'd get drunk and go on webcam and get a little to friendly with the audience. She's a pretty big drinker/ partier but slowed down when we got together. She's a very sexual person and is super open about it around other people (ie making out, groping, suggestive comments). She'd also compare me to her ex's a lot (the one I knew especially) and it felt pretty awkward. My friends found her to be pretty out there and everyone I had asked about our relationship said that I should probably break up with her but for the longest time I ignored them. We tried long distance for the next 2 monthes but things got to difficult and I ended it, regreting it immediately. I'm 20 and this was my first really serious relationship. She was clingy but that's something I always wanted but had never had when dating up until this point. She's naturally very flirty and to be fair I can sometimes get jealous but it seemed like she was playing ignorant to what she was doing. 2-3 guys were either buying her extravagant gifts or confessing there love for her a week but she'd just play aloof. When I'd ask her about it she'd either act completely oblivious to knowing how they felt (which I suppose is possible but pretty unlikely) or act like it was no big deal. She was also pretty jealous herself and could get angry out of nowhere. She seemed to be bi polar at times. I'm no doctor but I have a father with the disorder and she seems to act the same way he does. Despite all of this I adore her. She'd compliment me constantly and was always supporting me, making me feel like the most important man in the world. When we discussed the trouble we were having it felt like talking to a wall. She'd post things that she'd want me to see to facebook in hopes I'd react when rather then telling me herself. She tried very hard to keep us together but in the end we broke things off After a week apart I went back home to visit family and went over to her house to bring her something she left at my place. I had already started moving on but seeing her again and talking to her about hos much she want to make it work broke me. I was still very invested and didn't want to let her go. One thing started to lead to another but Before anything to intimate happened I stopped her. something was off about her and I asked her as much. After probing for a little while it came out she had already slept with one of the guys that had been flirting with her. She'd flirted with other guys before and even sexted her ex (yes, the one I knew) while streaming but this really bugged me. I cut all ties on social media and left. We got into a big fight over text and haven't spoken since. She's been posting things about either missing me or moving on (or at least that's what my friends have told me) on her st may sound stupid but I'm worried I'll never meet anybody that makes me feel the way she did. She was wild but she was also my girl (most of the time.) She was gorgeous and sweet and a blast to be around during the good times. I don't know if our relationship has just run its course and I'm feeling lonely or if I'm guilty because she was the best I'm gonna get. It was a toxic relationship but I'm not the greatest catch. She was just as into me as I was with her and it hurts to know shes not mine anymore.

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