haileym Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Hey, guys, it's been a couple of days! So it's been a week of no contact, which is what my ex wanted. She asked for space, and there's more on that in my other threads. Anyway, on social media, I've posted a few photos since the breakup. Nothing to make her jealous, just nice photos of the things I've been doing with my friends (hikes, lake visits, etc.). Yesterday I posted another photo of me and some of my friends, and for the first time, she liked it. She also viewed some of my videos for the first time. I know it sounds pretty desperate of me to be looking into it as much as I am, it's just bothering me a bit. She hasn't liked any of my other photos but decides to like this one. Her best (and only) friend also liked it, which is a little weird to me because she doesn't like my photos either. In my caption, I mentioned something about the day being happy, so my main concerns are: - They both liked it to make fun of me for some reason (Kind of doubtful, but still a possibility) - She only liked it because I mentioned I was happy. So in her mind, she could be thinking "Good, I'm happy she's moving on from me. That's healthy for her". Again, I hate that I'm overthinking this. I'm not sure what I'm really looking for here, haha. I know I should just ignore it and take it with a grain of salt because really, it's nothing. Just the thought of her liking it for some negative reason puts a pit in my stomach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 You are definitely overthinking it. If it makes you feel bad when she likes something, block her. Problem solved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
haileym Posted August 21, 2017 Author Share Posted August 21, 2017 That's true. At first, she blocked me on certain social media platforms because she thought it would be too painful to see my new photos without her, and that they would make it harder for her to move on. Anyway, she did add me back after we talked about it. I guess since our relationship basically ended because she felt that she was my only source of happiness and because she believed that my ideal relationship would be me hanging out with only her all the time, I wanted to use my social media as a way to showcase that I was making changes in a positive direction. I told her I would work on things on my end, and I fear that without some kind of proof, she would never notice or care. I'm not trying to be too obvious about that, and I'm also posting them just because they're nice pictures, but I guess I also do want her to see that I care about spending time with my friends and doing activities. Most of our relationship was just coming home and snuggling or doing day-to-day activities, and I'll admit that I rarely saw my friends because I would have rather spent all my time with her. She's been spending time with her friend, too, and posting about it which she never used to. Almost like she's trying to prove that she's moving on and has a life. I think I'm just trying to do the same so she can see that I'm trying to change Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy123 Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 It probably doesn't mean much. It's so easy to over think everything with ex's. Unless she literally tells you that she wants to get back together then that means she doesn't. Everything else is meaningless and best to avoid any and all contact with her until you're healed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomthumb88 Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Don't react unless she really contacts you in someway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 You're not in "NC" if you're allowing her access to your social media. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loip9114 Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 That's true. At first, she blocked me on certain social media platforms because she thought it would be too painful to see my new photos without her, and that they would make it harder for her to move on. Anyway, she did add me back after we talked about it. I guess since our relationship basically ended because she felt that she was my only source of happiness and because she believed that my ideal relationship would be me hanging out with only her all the time, I wanted to use my social media as a way to showcase that I was making changes in a positive direction. I told her I would work on things on my end, and I fear that without some kind of proof, she would never notice or care. I'm not trying to be too obvious about that, and I'm also posting them just because they're nice pictures, but I guess I also do want her to see that I care about spending time with my friends and doing activities. Most of our relationship was just coming home and snuggling or doing day-to-day activities, and I'll admit that I rarely saw my friends because I would have rather spent all my time with her. She's been spending time with her friend, too, and posting about it which she never used to. Almost like she's trying to prove that she's moving on and has a life. I think I'm just trying to do the same so she can see that I'm trying to change Aye, you know the answer. But you're definitely overthinking it. Take it at face-value, it's a simple like. Just like all those 'Like if you want "horrible disease number 29" to be cured', well guess what "horrible disease number 29" doesn't give a f*ck! I would also advice you to stop looking at her FB trust me, you have enough sh*t to deal with as it is. No need to pile more on top of that. As for not being in NC if you allow her to view your profile, I do not agree. NC is simply not reaching out or anything direct. BUT also no indirect things! Not saying hello through mutual friends and no 'likes' for her! That's indirect contact. You are in NC, she is violating your boundaries through this like. You are still in NC, UNLESS you respond. Then it's back to square one. Also I always say this, Facebook is a facade-machine. Nobody posts that they are depressed or being sad, or crying or vomitting, or anything negative. It's all rainbows and sunshine on that medium. Take that into account! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutbrownhare Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Block her. That will take away all the heartbreaking opportunities for over-thinking, reading far too much into situations which are actually meaningless and all the other things that many people do post-breakup. Then get on with your own life, and don't look back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cococly Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Hey OP, Why not deactivate all of your social media? or simply just don't go on social media. It would actually give you more free time to improve yourself. If your ex wanted you back, and saw you somehow disappeared off social media, she would contact you directly. If she contacts you directly, only then should you start think about what are her intentions. In other words, STOP feeding on social media for attention or for self-validation! There is no need to block her though, as blocking her means that you care about her. What you need to do during NC is be indifferent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutbrownhare Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 There is no need to block her though, as blocking her means that you care about her. What you need to do during NC is be indifferent. Erm... blocking her means that the OP will be getting on with his own life, and indifference will come with time. As it is, not blocking right now will lead to the kind of mental torture and over-thinking which the OP is already doing. There ARE people who think that NC is a way of getting your ex back, but this is very likely to backfire and lead to more heartache. NC is useful as a way of carving out a mental space in which to heal, rather than having the scab pulled off the healing at intervals by occasional contact from the ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomthumb88 Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 He did post in the "getting back together" section. I get where you are coming from by telling him to move on but I also think giving people advice in achieving the goals they want to achieve has merit too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy123 Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 If you want to get back together i wouldn't block your ex but I wouldn't initiate contact. If the ex contacts you can answer and see where it goes from there. If they seem interested just ask straight up if they want to get back together, if they say no then theres your answer. That's my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
haileym Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 Thanks for all of the comments so far! I do agree that I can't base my life and progress on the fact that my ex liked one of my photos and views my social media. I also realize that I can't take it as a sign of much. I was only thrown off a bit because she was adamant about her need for space and hasn't looked at, or liked, anything of mine since the breakup. She's still viewing my things which is kind of reassuring in the way that she's interested enough to look at it and not just completely ignore me forever. I'm not planning on blocking her on social media as it's my only way of proving that I'm working on myself, besides respecting her space even though it kills me not to message her. I haven't initiated any contact, but if she did end up contacting me I would answer her. If that happens, I'll make a new thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy123 Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 You're doing everything right, just keep focusing on yourself and it will get better in time I promise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.