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Best way to get back together from this situation


likeahawk

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I was with this girl for 3 months. Short but quite serious. A couple of times we discussed trying for kids after 1 year together.

 

About 8 days ago we had a massive argument. In the heat of the moment I said I can't be with her anymore, she's too argumentative. She accepted it and stormed off. 30 minutes later when I calmed down, realised I made a mistake and I texted her and apologised and said I didn't mean it. That is the first time we have split up. However she was very angry. I tried to get us back together and calm her down but nothing worked. The next day we texted a few times and she told me how sick she is of her job and misses home (she's from abroad). I gave some advice about her job trying to be helpful and it made her mad and she started ignoring me. I sent about 5 texts in the evening trying to talk but with no answer. But at night she replies ok let's speak tomorrow.

 

So the next day I text, no reply. I wait a few hours send a second text, still no reply. Something feels off so I message her flat mate and she tells me my ex has gone back home to visit her family because she's upset and also misses them!

 

I texted my ex saying her flatmate has told me you've gone back home and I wished her the best, apologised for what went wrong and said it's a shame things went bad between us so quickly. That was 5 days ago! She never replied! And is still at her home country at the moment. I have been in strict no contact since.

 

What are my best steps to reconcile with her? Stay in strict no contact? Message her in a couple of days when she comes back to my country?

 

What's weird is she was *super* into me. We texted 24/7. And she would often get very angry if I took more than a couple of hours to respond to her texts, and we spent all our time together. And so suddenly she has cut me off and gone back home! I don't know how she is finding it so easy! I know before me she was with her ex for 4 years and he lives in her home country and he was actively trying to get her back whilst we were together He was almost like a stalker with his behaviour despite her being very clear. I'm paranoid maybe she has gone back to give things with him another go. They had a very volatile relationship and split up constantly according to her.

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"They had a very volatile relationship and split up constantly according to her." Does it occur to you that she might be the root cause of that and that you are yourself getting a taste of that now yourself?

 

You might have ended things with her in the heat of the moment, but nothing in your post indicates that you should be taking that back and a whole lot of things that say it was actually the correct decision.

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By Text do you mean SMS or some other messaging app?

 

After three months you decided that she was too argumentative and broke up with her. Leave it at that and walk away because if you were to start seeing each other once again it would just be the same.

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You might have ended things with her in the heat of the moment, but nothing in your post indicates that you should be taking that back and a whole lot of things that say it was actually the correct decision.

 

I believe I've made a mistake. I'm upset she's left the country but it's her choice and is back in a couple of days. She is a good woman!

 

She is very stubborn. Is it reasonable for me to expect her to reach out to me when she returns back to this country? Or should I drop her a message.

 

By Text do you mean SMS or some other messaging app?

 

After three months you decided that she was too argumentative and broke up with her. Leave it at that and walk away because if you were to start seeing each other once again it would just be the same.

 

I mean messaging apps. I made a hasty judgement in the heat of the moment. That week she was argumentative. But she's not normally.

 

i agree with keyman - walk away. an argument and she disappears abroad. some life you would end up with.

go NC

 

I know what you mean - it's kind of ridiculous she can just disappear abroad like that. But technically we were broken up, it's not like she did it after an argument and we were still together.

 

Would you be able to provide any advice how to best proceed.

 

I still love her.

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