Boyfriend no contact?

[scotchpad]

My BF of a little over a year went out of town and has only contacted me to let me know he made it there safely. We hit a rough patch where he's reconsidering our relationship. The last time he went away he called and text me every day. We are used to seeing each other every day. Is this a bad sign? What should I do?

[MissCanuck]

When did he leave?

[scotchpad]

When did he leave?

 

Friday. We texted on Friday and then he text me Saturday to let me know he made it.

[MissCanuck]

Did you respond to him on Saturday?

 

I would just let him do his thing. He's got doubts already about the relationship and evidently needs some time to consider what's going to happen from here.

 

Just a side note, but you may want to ask the mods to merge this with your previous thread so posters can understand the backstory too.

[scotchpad]

Did you respond to him on Saturday?

 

I would just let him do his thing. He's got doubts already about the relationship and evidently needs some time to consider what's going to happen from here.

 

Just a side note, but you may want to ask the mods to merge this with your previous thread so posters can understand the backstory too.

 

Yeah I just told him to have fun and that was it

[scotchpad]

Did you respond to him on Saturday?

 

I would just let him do his thing. He's got doubts already about the relationship and evidently needs some time to consider what's going to happen from here.

 

Just a side note, but you may want to ask the mods to merge this with your previous thread so posters can understand the backstory too.

 

Do you think this is a sign that he's done?

[j.man]

It's a sign he's asserting his own space to breathe. I'm assuming the last time he went out of town, you two weren't in the rough patch you are now, so unfortunately, yes, this time it is different. I know it's not comforting, but you've got to accept that reality and react accordingly. None of us has access to your boyfriend's brain, so we can't tell you whether he's completely checked out or simply and honestly reevaluating the integrity of the relationship. What we can tell you is that if you press and deny him this space, he will make space, and you can guess how he'll go about doing that.

 

What did he go out of town for, anyhow?

[DancingFool]

You got a lot of good advice about focusing on addressing exactly this kind of anxious obsessive behavior in your previous thread...... you really ought to consider it instead of this non-stop fixation on what he is doing.

 

You know why he is waffling about your relationship and not contacting you? Because dealing with so much anxiety coming from your partner is soul draining. Maybe he will rest and still have some patience left for you or maybe not. Only he knows. IF you want to salvage this relationship or at least have a chance at a healthy relationship with someone else, you seriously need to force your thoughts away from this kind of compulsive anxiety and get to work on yourself and how to get a handle on your insecurities. I'm actually exhausted from reading your previous thread because you just don't take anything on board and keep beating up with the same question over and over and over. You've got to stop that. Go to the bookstore and start reading a self help book on how to manage your anxieties. It will be time much better spent than what you are doing right now.

[scotchpad]

So update. Not sure what to think or if I should even think about it at all, but he reached out to me on social media the last two days and called me Twice today telling me what his plans were and ended the call with I love you. He was kind of dry and small talk had awkward moments but I did my best to stay positive and upbeat. While he's been gone I've stayed out and about doing my own thing. He's seen this all on social media. Hopefully this helps but regardless of what happens I feel like more of myself again. I was definitely losing myself to this relationship but I'm feeling more like me which is good. This is my first serious relationship so I'm learning a lot

[MissCanuck]

I think you should keep doing what you're doing, OP.

 

Keep busy, chat when he calls. He's behaving fairly normally for a guy who's recently been having some doubts. He's initiating, which is a good sign.

[scotchpad]

It's a sign he's asserting his own space to breathe. I'm assuming the last time he went out of town, you two weren't in the rough patch you are now, so unfortunately, yes, this time it is different. I know it's not comforting, but you've got to accept that reality and react accordingly. None of us has access to your boyfriend's brain, so we can't tell you whether he's completely checked out or simply and honestly reevaluating the integrity of the relationship. What we can tell you is that if you press and deny him this space, he will make space, and you can guess how he'll go about doing that.

 

What did he go out of town for, anyhow?

 

He went out of town to visit his family.

[scotchpad]

I think you should keep doing what you're doing, OP.

 

Keep busy, chat when he calls. He's behaving fairly normally for a guy who's recently been having some doubts. He's initiating, which is a good sign.

 

So when I talked to him on Tuesday he said he was heading back tomorrow which would be Wednesday but he never came home and he was online. Should I text him and see when he's coming back