So we're good friends now but she gives me weird signals

[funkyfresh]

A bit back I posted about a girl who I wanted a relationship with, but she said she wants to be friends first and see how things go.

 

So now instead of dating, we're just really good friends. We text each other constantly, we call each other every night and speak for hours (she tells me to speak to her until she falls asleep, and never lets me hang up). We have plans to go see a few concerts with each other, and she wants me to come by some time and have drinks and watch a movie. So I think to myself, honestly, I truly enjoy having her as a friend even though I'm still sexually attracted to her, but if she decides it won't go past friendship then I'm okay with that.

 

So now here's the part where I get confused. She has a fwb. I'm okay with that (for now), as her and I are not dating. It does bother me, but I would imagine if anything was to happen between her and I then she wouldn't be seeing him as a fwb anymore? but I mean we'll cross that bridge IF we come to it.

 

I've also started seeing a different girl. Only a date so far, but it's been good. I thought my other "friend" would be happy for me but it seems like she's always upset that I'm giving this new girl that I'm seeing more time than her, and she texts me things occasionally like "I'm going to cry if she becomes your new best friend" or she'll constantly want to talk about her and compare herself to her.

 

The thing that bothers me is that the girl I originally liked was into the whole "friends first and if something happens it happens, and if it doesn't it doesn't" is now getting weird with me AFTER I do what she tells me to do and I see other girls. Is she just craving the attention? Does she like me and just want to take things slow and doesn't like how I have someone else now?

 

What should I do? Thanks for any input guys.

[thorough]

A bit back I posted about a girl who I wanted a relationship with, but she said she wants to be friends first and see how things go.

 

So now instead of dating, we're just really good friends. We text each other constantly, we call each other every night and speak for hours (she tells me to speak to her until she falls asleep, and never lets me hang up). We have plans to go see a few concerts with each other, and she wants me to come by some time and have drinks and watch a movie. So I think to myself, honestly, I truly enjoy having her as a friend even though I'm still sexually attracted to her, but if she decides it won't go past friendship then I'm okay with that.

 

So now here's the part where I get confused. She has a fwb. I'm okay with that (for now), as her and I are not dating. It does bother me, but I would imagine if anything was to happen between her and I then she wouldn't be seeing him as a fwb anymore? but I mean we'll cross that bridge IF we come to it.

 

I've also started seeing a different girl. Only a date so far, but it's been good. I thought my other "friend" would be happy for me but it seems like she's always upset that I'm giving this new girl that I'm seeing more time than her, and she texts me things occasionally like "I'm going to cry if she becomes your new best friend" or she'll constantly want to talk about her and compare herself to her.

 

The thing that bothers me is that the girl I originally liked was into the whole "friends first and if something happens it happens, and if it doesn't it doesn't" is now getting weird with me AFTER I do what she tells me to do and I see other girls. Is she just craving the attention? Does she like me and just want to take things slow and doesn't like how I have someone else now?

 

What should I do? Thanks for any input guys.

 

What is happening is she wants her cake and to eat it too. She doesn't want to commit, but she doesn't want to lose you either. Do not fall for her BS, you are free to see whoever you want. I can guarantee you if you drop the other girl/girls, she will sing the same tune of not wanting a relationship for x reasons. She cannot dangle you on a string and hopes that by pretending something could potentially happen, you will end up waiting for her. If she gets upset tell her she had a chance and now you are moving on.

[Tinydance]

What is happening is she wants her cake and to eat it too. She doesn't want to commit, but she doesn't want to lose you either. Do not fall for her BS, you are free to see whoever you want. I can guarantee you if you drop the other girl/girls, she will sing the same tune of not wanting a relationship for x reasons. She cannot dangle you on a string and hopes that by pretending something could potentially happen, you will end up waiting for her. If she gets upset tell her she had a chance and now you are moving on.

 

I basically totally agree with this. I've actually seen exactly the same situation many times in my own friendship circles. Often while people don't want to date someone, they still really enjoy their attention and admiration and to always have someone at their beck and call. I'm not saying she's an awful person but I think she was enjoying having you "wrapped around her little finger", lull her to sleep, spend all your time and devotion on her. Now that you're dating another girl, she's just really jealous because the attention is not on her anymore. I don't think it necessarily means she wants to date you but jealousy is a very powerful emotion. If she truly wants you then is she willing to prove it to you? Is she willing to be your girlfriend? If not then I recommend you just move on from her and continue with the other girl. This girl knew you had feelings for her and was just stringing you along which is not fair. If she's not willing to commit then she's obviously not into you enough, it's as simple as that. I would also recommend not giving her too much attention anymore, in particular because you're seeing someone else.

[thorough]

She is using your own feelings towards her to hold you on a leash. If you find another girl you want something serious w/, cut all contact because she may lure you back if she feels she is losing you.