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Reverse NC ! Any thought's on her true motivations here people !


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I really don't know what to think... my ex gf is making numerous life updates known to me through what I call "Reverse NC" so I've heard plenty of updates none of which I wanted to know. Also our mothers remain friends and occasionally meet up for lunches at the local mall.


Also I have not blocked her yet she has chosen on several occasions to feed updates on her life through her own mother to my mother, emails to my mother, Facebook chat with one of my friends etc... she once even left a hand written bread crumbs note hanging on my door during the workday when she knew I would not be home. She is clearly avoiding seeing me or talking to me so my instincts there dictate shamefulness. I have no info on her current romantic situation but I had strong intuition that there was another lined up before she ended things between us (emotional affair).


Overall none of these updates has any whiff of reconciliation so I've got to just grin and bear it..


The latest 2 contacts have been an email to my mother showing her a photo of a pendant mom gifted her attached to a chain that I had gifted her (she removed the diamond that was originally on it and replaced it with the cheap pendant from mom). This I found quite odd... Then a month later .. ding dong... She shows up unannounced at mom's door for a little visit and to ask if they might do lunch sometime and BTW ...we don't have to tell(my name) ! More strange behavior,. Anyway mom declined her offer and sent her on her way..


She seems desperate to keep mom in her life somehow but is quite happy to erase me from existence after 7 years.


Any further thoughts would be welcome people !!!!

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She declared she was no longer "In Love" with me (you can find the full BU story in my other posts if you want).


It was she who chose to discard our connection so IMO she should be in a state of relief... and leave things alone.


I walked away after our final talk and never tried to contact her again (6 months ago).


I have no desire to rekindle things and I'm 99% sure she doesn't either...


So why not just let things fade away quietly ??


I'm trying to understand the psychology at play here.. specifically what is behind all this reverse NC ?


Anyone ????

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Any Thoughts people ?

I'm still wondering about this weird behavior...

All the indirect contact... the reverse NC...I grin and bear it now .... no big deal

it's about a dozen times and counting.


When you break up with someone you should just leave them alone ...


Aaaaaargh Damn !!!

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My guess is that she is confused and doesn't know what she wants. She uses your mom to keep an eye on your life. But contacting you directly might lead to hard decisions (reconcile or break for good), which she is not ready for? I can't imagine it's about your mom, it's about you.


I'm sort of in a similar situation... i was with him in a LDR for 5 yrs , but i didnt commit because he expected me to support him financially. He broke up with me, went in a rebound, but this is now already going for 8 months. Till 2 months ago we were in touch but as he made no steps in my direction I decided to leave it and went NC. Now he texted me: I'm moving to europe, and I may be closer to you. Weird, right? Trying to give me hope? When I didn't reply he asked whether we're going to be strangers now, as he expected to become best of friends....


Whaaat? How can you expect that when you dumped someone for another? As if I'm owing him anything..

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Any more thoughts on this REVERSE NC people ?


It's not stopping....again yesterday she contacted my friend from out of town who announced on FB that he was coming to my town (he always stays with me)

so she messages him back and forth about also getting tickets for last nights concert

a concert that I would be attending.


I never saw her at the show (Thankfully)

but she messaged the crap out of my friend all night ....

and of course I had to hear all about it ...


More REVERSE NC !!!!


When will it ever end ...



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