The Drunken "I love you"

[twentysix]

My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 6 months. He's 29 and I'm 27. We've never said the L word.

He's hinted at it in jest, but I know that he thinks it's too soon. For example, one time I thanked him for doing the dishes and he said, "Ahhh, the things you do for the people that you..... really really like!" And smiled at me & winked.

 

Anyway - he picked me up from a concert the other night and I was really drunk and he was sober. When we were falling asleep, I said "I love you" to him. I am not entirely sure if it was a dream or not, but I think it happened.

He said, "What did you just say?"

And I repeated, "I love you."

He asked, "You love me?"

I said, "yes"

He said something like, "That means a lot, thank you [my name], that's very nice of you to say."

 

And then I fell asleep (unless, please God, that I was already asleep and it was just a dream!!).

 

I assume that he thinks it was just drunken rambling as he didn't mention it the next day (or he just doesn't want to talk about it!) - but neither did I. He did say I was talking in my sleep, but I didn't ask what I said.

I do love him, but I probably would rather to have not said anything because I know he's not ready.

 

Help. I don't know if I should mention anything or just leave it? I'm not in a rush to say the words, but I just feel like there's a big fat elephant in the room now. Arghhhhh. I feel stupid.

[DanZee]

Six months, you're living together, and no one's said "I love you" yet? Seems a bit backwards to me. You shouldn't be wasting your time together if you're not in love. But, keep in mind that men do hide their feelings, but if he does things for you, that's one way men show they like or love you.

 

As for you, tell him you love him. Stand there in front of him and say the three little words. See how he reacts. If he grabs you and hugs you or kisses you, he probably feels the same way. If he doesn't respond, at least it will give you the opportunity to talk about it.

[pippy longstocking]

I don't think they do live together .

 

If you can't just forget about it , then you have to voice it , it is that simple ..avoid or face .. to face it all you need to say is something like * I expressed my feelings while drunk , but meant it none the less * because he might be thinking you just said it because of the alcohol . But remember , you then might have to deal with a second awkward moment when he doesn't say it back .

 

Why don't you just leave it for a couple of weeks and let it die down in your own mind a bit then the elephant in the room wont be as big .

[twentysix]

Six months, you're living together, and no one's said "I love you" yet? Seems a bit backwards to me. You shouldn't be wasting your time together if you're not in love. But, keep in mind that men do hide their feelings, but if he does things for you, that's one way men show they like or love you.

 

As for you, tell him you love him. Stand there in front of him and say the three little words. See how he reacts. If he grabs you and hugs you or kisses you, he probably feels the same way. If he doesn't respond, at least it will give you the opportunity to talk about it.

 

We aren't living together

[Batya33]

So i would wait and see what happens in the next few months - if he was feeling love and wanted to express it he would whether or not you said it and if he was confused but wanted to express it he would say it and probably mention that he heard you say it. From his response I'd assume he's not quite there yet. And that's ok.

[melancholy123]

Maybe dont get so drunk that you dont know for sure what you said!

[SherrySher]

Just leave it for now. When the time is right and the mood is right, then you can repeat those words. But for now focus on being happy. After all, I love you is just words. Being happy together, appreciating each other is what matters the most right now.

[twentysix]

Thanks for the replies guys. I didn't mention anything and everything has been normal.

I was sick today from work and he came over to bring dinner & keep me company. He's certainly not avoiding me or anything, thankfully!

 

I don't think he's quite there yet in the way of voicing anything to do with LOVE. He doesn't much like voicing feelings in general, nor is he very physically affectionate, so anything to do with affection and feelings makes him generally uncomfortable. All the times he's told me how he feels about me, it's been very sweet but like drawing blood from a stone!

 

Anyway. I don't want to say anything right yet. I don't think it's important right now. What's important is enjoying our time together, supporting each other and having fun, which we are.