Desperate for Some Guidance Here

[RockSolid]

Hi

This woman and i had a very deep relationship and I fell head over heels for her almost ten years ago. I felt she was "the one" for sure. Absolutely felt certain. Then we had a surprising falling out and we ended contact for a number of years. It's been 2.5 years and she has just made contact again. She apologized and said she realizes now that I was an amazing person to her and she said she's sorry if she didn't acknowledge that at the time.

 

We ended up having dinner. Just a casual one. We talked for 3 hours straight. Then it was late so we parted ways.

 

I feel afraid of her, getting close again because I was so hurt when we fell out. Hurt by all the circumstances.

 

But for some reason, I haven't moved on. I always think of her. Everyday.

 

What does this mean?

 

Thanks ENA friends. Really no idea how to proceed.

[Tomthumb88]

So you just saw her and had dinner and reconnected?

[RockSolid]

Yes...

 

I really don't know if there's too much to heal or if I should open the door to her again.

[Tomthumb88]

Well... it sounds like you have deep feelings and a real connection so I'd say go for it. But I believe in second chances, I'm sure someone will appear and say "an ex is an ex for a reason"

[Thebighere]

Hi

This woman and i had a very deep relationship and I fell head over heels for her almost ten years ago. I felt she was "the one" for sure. Absolutely felt certain. Then we had a surprising falling out and we ended contact for a number of years. It's been 2.5 years and she has just made contact again. She apologized and said she realizes now that I was an amazing person to her and she said she's sorry if she didn't acknowledge that at the time.

 

We ended up having dinner. Just a casual one. We talked for 3 hours straight. Then it was late so we parted ways.

 

I feel afraid of her, getting close again because I was so hurt when we fell out. Hurt by all the circumstances.

 

But for some reason, I haven't moved on. I always think of her. Everyday.

 

What does this mean?

 

Thanks ENA friends. Really no idea how to proceed.

 

Its completely understandable why you are feeling cautious. Taking things slow would be wise, but this does sound promising. I think second chances can work

 

Go sloooooow, protect yourself.

 

Do you think the issues that caused the breakup have been resolved? Has there been growth and positive changes on both of your sides?

 

Can i ask how old you both are?

Did you date during your time apart?

 

Thank you for sharing your story

[melancholy123]

Take it slow, you sound conflicted so dont dive in head first.

[RockSolid]

Its completely understandable why you are feeling cautious. Taking things slow would be wise, but this does sound promising. I think second chances can work

 

Go sloooooow, protect yourself.

 

Do you think the issues that caused the breakup have been resolved? Has there been growth and positive changes on both of your sides?

 

Can i ask how old you both are?

Did you date during your time apart?

 

Thank you for sharing your story

 

Hi - I'm late 30's. She's 5 years younger (mid 30's). I didn't date during our time apart. I don't know if she did or not. I couldn't. I wanted to but never had any feels for anyone else. It would have been dating to prove something, not dating because I wanted to.

 

Thank you so much for your advice. I will take it slow and see what happens.

 

I'm yet to feel confident that time can heal and this can be repaired but I will go into this with both eyes open and try.

[RockSolid]

Thank you all for your responses. I feel so lost...your advice is very helpful.

[Thebighere]

Its a pleasure RockSolid. People are here to help Sometimes even talking about thing can help you find your way.

 

So, do you think the issues that caused the breakup have been resolved?

[RockSolid]

I don't know. She was going through a very very rough time when things fell apart. So was i actually. I think it became too much. We were pretty much forced apart really, but I felt she had closed down on me. We haven't talked about anything of substance yet - what happened, etc. I don't want to push her; I'll wait to see if she raises it. I'm trying to go on with my life and not get too wrapped up in this...although I do think about her a lot.

[Thebighere]

I don't know. She was going through a very very rough time when things fell apart. So was i actually. I think it became too much. We were pretty much forced apart really, but I felt she had closed down on me. We haven't talked about anything of substance yet - what happened, etc. I don't want to push her; I'll wait to see if she raises it. I'm trying to go on with my life and not get too wrapped up in this...although I do think about her a lot.

 

Not getting too wrapped up in it, is exactly where you need to be. You don't have to completely know how you feel, yet. Take your time. Go at your speed. Keep enjoying your life and make yourself your main focus.

[vesper]

Should I really start with my story, thebighere?

[Thebighere]

Should I really start with my story, thebighere?

 

Hello Vesper, I wouldn't want to hijack RockSolid's thread. Maybe it would be useful to start your own thread to get more feedback on your situation. I would be happy to hear