Happygolucky13 Posted August 12, 2017 Share Posted August 12, 2017 hi, I've never asked for advice or anything online so I'm not really sure how to go about it but I'll just tell my story in the hope that it can make me feel better in anyway. Basically, I started seeing a guy from my college where I was studying a foundation degree away from home. I had only recently ended things from a 2 and a half year relationship and so definitely wasn't looking to start seeing someone so quickly! Nevertheless, it all happened so quickly and i was enjoying the spontaneous fun aspect that I'd been lacking in my previous relationship. We're a complete juxtaposition of each other though, I am more of a country girl, who's intelligent and loves a party but more with a glass of wine whereas he wears tracksuits and enjoys smoking with his friends. He's also 2 years younger than me and I never imagined dating someone my age let alone younger, but when we're together we have a lot of fun and get along really well. Whilst we were just seeing each other we always had the intention to end things when I left the place I was studying (where he lived). However, things developed and we met each other's families and here we are living 170 miles away trying to make a long distance relationship work. The main issue is that he struggles with his mental health, and has spoken to a gp about his bipolar disorder. (This is why I can't speak to anyone I know about this as I have promised to keep this to myself). Anyway, this means that his ups and downs are more evident whilst living away as well, as his downs mean that he can be really blunt and not talk to me for a couple of days. Our relationship before never relied on communication as we used to see each other every day but now the communication aspect is so important to keep our relationship strong. I am generally a happy, chilled person and I think I'm very forgiving about his mood swings but I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me feel like crap. I really try and feel okay with being ignored or being the one that is putting all the effort in talking, but it puts such a strain on me. I am a massive over thinker and it really puts my anxiety to the test as I try and not stress over what I might have done to trigger it. This is obviously only the bad things in our relationship, like when we're together, and we do try and see each other as much as we can, we have such a good time and never argue. I'd still be lying if he treats me really well, but I am happy when with him and to me that is what's important. Im just stressing as to how to make this relationship work when we're not together, especially in September when I start my full time degree and we'll have less time to see each other. Does anyone have any advice on how I can improve the communication in our relationship especially when he's on a down? This will really help to reassure me that I'm not being a fool in thinking this relationship is going to work. Thank you all so much for hearing me out, sorry if it's all a bit messy and all over the place xxxx Link to comment
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