Trapped, lost and lonely..

[Ellexiia17]

I'll be honest, I never thought my life would come to the point of making anonymous posts on a website to look for support. I feel like I can't trust anybody who knows me, I don't know where to turn. Nothing is how it should have been.

 

I'm 22 years old, I married last year to a man older than me. Everything was perfect, I fell hard and fast and believed it was going to be forever. He mentioned marriage and I naively thought this was it and I was sold. I have a son from a previous relationship and he has 3 children from his - I have always been dead set on wanting another child so we agreed this in the early days, if things were to take off. Fast forward down the line, were married. 8 months after the wedding I find out half of what he's told me has been lies.. mostly loads of small ones, but a number or really big lies aswell. I fall apart, I don't know the man I've just committed to spending my life with. We split for a month, I struggle the month by myself and take him back. He promises that's it, no more lies and to my knowledge he's been true to his word. However, it's like since I found out the truth he's started to display aspects of his personality that were hidden before. His patience has gone, his romantic side has disappeared. All of a sudden his parenting style has totally changed to a style that I just can't agree with. I find myself now not wanting a child with this man. Most the time I'm okay and I work through it, but late at night when the house is quiet I lay on the sofa and cry. I feel totally alone. I can't leave, I can't afford to and I never wanted to consider divorce. I just feel trapped and empty. My son keeps me going and I never let him see me like this. I just hurt. Totally. I don't know where to turn anymore.

[Annia]

How long did you know and dated this man before marrying him? Is he abusive? What big lies were those? Why can't you leave? For financial reasons? Do you have family or people you can rely on or at least talk to?

 

This doesn't seem very promising. Trust is the basis of any healthy relationship. Would it be possible for both to attend couple's therapy to work through all this?