ForumGirl91 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Ok, so here's a background...i've been dating this guy for 5-6 months exclusively, we've been talking and going out weekly, since we live over an hour apart. But overall the connection has been good, the chemistry and everything. So I usually don't initiate contact with him, it's mainly him who sends texts and arranges dates with me. So on Monday evening i decided to surprise him with a message and sent him a little flirty one with a few of my selfies. Now it is Wednesday morning and he hasn't replied yet...Is he ignoring me? He has never done this...What should i do? I am worried and anxious.... Link to comment
DanZee Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Well, there's very little here to go by. He might not have received your message. I've had that happen a few times. He might have forgotten to respond. He might have been busy with something else, such as with friends and so forth. Or he might be with another girl. You don't know. Send him another text about something completely different. Don't start off looking for an argument, "why didn't you respond to my message?" Text him about something you're both interested in, but keep it light. He might eventually tell you what he was doing. But it is easier to date somebody who's nearby, and you can definitely spend more time together. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Do you actually call and talk to each other regularly or is it just a few casual texts in between dates purely at his convenience? If you don't talk regularly, then despite the length of time, this sounds like a very casual and arm's length type arrangement that hasn't really progressed into a relationship. Link to comment
ForumGirl91 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 Do you actually call and talk to each other regularly or is it just a few casual texts in between dates purely at his convenience? If you don't talk regularly, then despite the length of time, this sounds like a very casual and arm's length type arrangement that hasn't really progressed into a relationship. I am ok with the way things are I am still in school and not ready to get married or anything...as long as we're hanging out having fun and exclusive I'm fine...but now I feel he is not replying on purpose. There's no way he didn't receive the messages there were 3 that I sent at once...should I wait or should I follow up? Link to comment
j.man Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 What was the flirtatious message? And why'd you send three selfies? How old are both of you? Link to comment
ForumGirl91 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 It was something playful so I also attached a few pics as well...I am in my 20s he is 30s Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 It was something playful so I also attached a few pics as well...I am in my 20s he is 30s If you two are in an exclusive relationship. I wouldn't worry, he will get back to you eventually. If it's just casual dating, well who knows, even then unless something happened after 4 months I'd expect him to reply eventually, I wouldn't stress it too much. Link to comment
ForumGirl91 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 Well casual or official I think texting someone back within a day is common courtesy. And this is not our normal pattern of communication we never go more than an hour or two without responding to a message or a call...I want to follow up but I am afraid of coming across as clingy...ugh Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Something playful ... did you sext him? Also don't let men do all the work. He shouldn't always initiate. 50/50 Link to comment
NightLily Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Hm, if you are into him, give it a few days and then call or text. You will be putting your ego on the line but it is sometimes better to just adult-up and put yourself out there. Keep it light and then invite him out somewhere. The other option is: say nothing, keep waiting. See if he comes back. After a week, give up. The choice is yours. Link to comment
ForumGirl91 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 Thanks NightLily I will probably go with the second option though waiting is driving me nuts...hope he's not dead or injured Link to comment
ForumGirl91 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 Something playful ... did you sext him? Also don't let men do all the work. He shouldn't always initiate. 50/50 Well lol look what haopened when I tried and initiated contact with him... Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Why not just call him? You've been dating for a few months now, so I don't think it's out of line to at least make sure he's alright. If he answers, don't mention the messages he didn't respond to. Just say hello and get caught up. See how he interacts with you. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Well casual or official I think texting someone back within a day is common courtesy. And this is not our normal pattern of communication we never go more than an hour or two without responding to a message or a call...I want to follow up but I am afraid of coming across as clingy...ugh I agree with you, in my eyes it is a common courtesy. But everyone has different standards/expectations/boundaries. Many believe he doesn't 'owe' you a text back, especially if it's casual. Different strokes for different folks. What matters is what you're willing to accept. What I'm ok with. What the next person is ok with, what you're ok with, everyone is different. Heck, he may have gotten angry at your text to him. Texting him back and coming off clingy? Again depends on your situation, bf/gf you should expect a response. Casual? Unfortunately, common courtesy differs person to person. I'd personally give it a little more time. For him to reply for you to clear your head. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Ok, so here's a background...i've been dating this guy for 5-6 months exclusively, we've been talking and going out weekly, since we live over an hour apart. But overall the connection has been good, the chemistry and everything. Since you've been exclusively dating for 5-6 months, and this isn't casual, frankly I'd be more concerned if he's okay rather than stressing about if he's intentionally ignoring you. Although reading this forum and others, nothing surprises me anymore. Heard stories of men (and women) suddenly falling of the map after several months of exclusive dating, exchanging "I love you's" the whole nine. If it were me, I'd wait a few more days, then shoot him another text asking him if he's alright, and "miss you." That's it. Don't start bytching at him about why he hasn't contacted you. I only suggest this because again you are exclusively dating, for several months in fact, and seem to have a strong connection. If he ignores that message, then imo you have no choice but to assume he may be ghosting you, as sh**** as that would be, and try to move on. Try to stay positive though; he may just need some space which, in my experience, is not all that uncommon after a few months of dating. Link to comment
ForumGirl91 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 Thanks everyone for your responses. I will give it a week although if a week goes by and he doesn't contact me it's probably over since we normally don't go no contact for that long... Also lesson learned: never sext guys out of the blue Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Thanks everyone for your responses. I will give it a week although if a week goes by and he doesn't contact me it's probably over since we normally don't go no contact for that long... Also lesson learned: never sext guys out of the blue My guess is he contacts you within the week; like I said in previous post he may just need some space, time to himself. Is he an introvert by any chance? If so, I am more inclined to think that's what's happening. I am an introvert, and hell I need space from time to time (a few days), again not all that uncommon. Try to stay positive! Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Ah, so you did sext him. Wanna know why that's dangerous? When I get pictures, they pop up on my lock screen. A sext without warning would be embarrassing and frankly would piss me off. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Ah, so you did sext him. Wanna know why that's dangerous? When I get pictures, they pop up on my lock screen. A sext without warning would be embarrassing and frankly would piss me off. Interesting new development re the sexting. To the OP, has sexting been a standard thing between you? He initiates it and you respond? If so, nothing wrong with you initiating this time, but if you haven't been sexting and this was first time, then yeah it could possibly be what mld said above, although don't know of any guy who would get pissed off at getting a sexy text from his girlfriend. I still say try to stay positive, especially since the connection between you has been so good. Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 ^ if your phone is facing up in a meeting or something! Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 ^ if your phone is facing up in a meeting or something! Good point, except at least for me and my co-workers, when we attend meetings, phones are left at our desks/offices. Nothing worse then someone's phone buzzing while discussing how to defend Joe Schmo against godonlyknowswhat. But yeah anything is possible. But even if that is what happened, no reason for him to ignore her or disappear, is it? They're in an exclusive relationship for heaven's sake; one would assume they would be able to discuss such things. Link to comment
Mari Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 This is just a thought, but please check and find out if you actually talked to the right person. It could be that you sent the message to someone else and your guy has no idea. Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Well I'm just saying that's one possible reason he could be mad. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Well I'm just saying that's one possible reason he could be mad. I know, anything is possible and we could all speculate until hell freezes over. The only way for OP to know is to pick up the phone and ask him. Again, half a year in an exclusive RL, I'd be worried sick if he's okay! Not stressing whether or not I'm being ghosted. Unless she doesn't trust him which could be possible. Personally, I don't date men I don't trust. I'd wait a couple more days, and then text saying "You alright? Not like you to not respond back. Miss you!" This is what a loving, supportive gf does imo. Especially if things were good prior to this. Not stress about whether he's ignoring me and then intentionally ignore him back. Silly. ETA: If he doesn't respond to second message within a reasonable period of time, then move on. Link to comment
ForumGirl91 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 Sexting is normal part in our relationship, he never responded in such a weird way like he did now...he was always excited to receive those pics from me, and sent some of his own as well.. I did send a follow up message because i was tired of waiting around...we'll see what happens...things were alright before this, we didn't argue, he wasn't acting weird...we had a date last weekend and it went well... Link to comment
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