pinkypromise Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 I got engaged after 3 months of dating and said yes even with apprehensions. I planned the wedding for a year later but ended up getting married 5 months after the proposal due to an unplanned pregnancy. At the time we were super religious and I felt pressured to "do things the right way" rather than make that decision of marriage on my own. Fast forward 4 years, after leaving the religious influence we had and taking 5 months of EMDR therapy for traumatic experiences I went through in early childhood. I feel like I love my husband as a person and want nothing but the best for him but I'm not IN love with him and never truly was. Ive been forced to be more honest with myself and my feelings since doing this therapy but I can't stand the thought of potentially breaking his heart because i got married under confusion. He hasn't been perfect and let verbal bullying / emotional abuse drive me away. But now that he sees I'm "done" he's done a complete 180. I don't know if me having feelings of not being in love is a phase all married people go through or is it something I should take seriously. I'm 27 years old and don't want to stay married 10-15 years just to come back to the same conclusion. Sex isn't everything but even when we were dating I couldn't stand his smell or his kiss. Not every time but most times we made love I didn't truly enjoy the experience. This hasn't changed over time as I hoped it would. Again, I'm not sure if this is normal because marriage is hard and people change but I can't help but wonder if I'm holding us back. Thanks I'm advance. Link to comment
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