Should I Tell Her?

[misterjister]

Background broke up 2 months ago. She told me she'd met someone else a week later. I'm 10 days NC.

 

I have information he's in constant contact with another girl when he's not with my ex.

 

If I tell her i'm going to be the bad guy interfering in her business? So I just sit back and hope she finds out for herself?

 

What's the correct thing to do here?

 

Thanks

[Liraele]

Stay NC and carry on with your life.

 

While I can understand and empathize with the desire to tell her, it's unlikely that you'll be believed because you're her ex. Plus, it'd be a set back in your own healing.

[Andrina]

Don't mess with other people's lives in major ways like this. Whoever is feeding you info about your ex, tell them you no longer want to hear about her. You're not going to have closure and be able to move on when you keep her in your thoughts by having other people feed news about her.

 

Secrets never stay secrets. She will find out in time, on her own, if her guy is misbehaving.

[melancholy123]

Definitely time to mind your own business. If the info is true, she'll find out sooner or later and you won't be the bad guy.

[misterjister]

Yep i'll just let it ride cos right now she'd probably think I was just trying to cause trouble and it's none of my business.

[ginaloribic]

As has already been said by all the posters already, don't say anything and leave well alone.

 

Your ex may well not believe you for the reason that you are her ex. The new boyfriend might not take to kindly and could open up a whole lot of other trouble which you really don't need right now. Even if for saying sake, you did go ahead and tell her of your knowledge (which I assume is second or maybe even third hand?), she dumps the guy, what would you really gain from that?

 

Keep up the No Contact and carry on with your own life. Put the thought and effort you are using to ponder this in to something more positive.

[misterjister]

I'm not sure if she is really seeing this man or not now. I had my suspicions that was the reason why i was dumped and mentioned a name and she laughed. After that she said she'd met him a couple of times but played it down. I dont know if she was just saying about this new man to force me to accept the ending sooner. Maybe she wanted me to get mad and have a big bust up to justify it? Or she had her hopes up with him but then he wasnt bothered? I just don't know what the truth is and its torture.

Now i know this other guy is in touch with another girl all the time i'm tempted to break NC thinking maybe she won't contact me because of feeling silly/guilt over putting me through hell. Even though I know that if she wanted to contact me she would. Before NC she was always nice on the phone and txt with hints of reconcilliation here and there.

 

Yeah I'm struggling today I admit.

[Wiseman2]

Wow sorry to hear this. It stinks. Often we never know the real reason. Don't be played or pawn. Stay strong.

I'm struggling today I admit.

[Andrina]

I've never taken anyone back who dumped me. As far as I'm concerned, they never cared enough to be able to do this, and history often repeats itself. Once the newness wears off, they do the dumping all over again. Fate has someone better in store for you. You can't open the front door to new possibilities when you've got your foot stuck in the back door.