Really confused, things not adding up...

[Lovel]

Hi, I really need some (sympathetic) advice...

 

My girlfriend and I (both female) broke up around three weeks ago. We'd been together for two and a half years. After we'd broken up, we were messaging and I asked if we could chat. She said she was heading out, so I then suggested us talking when she got back - she then said she wouldn't be back home until the next day. That made me feel odd, so I asked if she was seeing someone else; she replied 'yes'.

 

I then asked a succession of questions such as "who is it?", "how long have you been seeing them?" - her answers were that it was someone she knew from a long time ago, and they'd started talking 'last week' (so the week after we broke up). It turned out they had gone out for dinner and on to a club and a bar.

 

What followed was me getting quite upset and I told her that she'd broken my heart by getting involved with someone else so soon after - especially when the same thing had happened to me a few years back.

 

OK so, maybe the day after all of this happened we had a conversation on the phone. I asked her whether she liked this person, she said "I like him, but not like THAT" and that the whole thing was "nothing to stress about". Also that she hadn't explained the situation very well, and this person was just a friend from a while ago.

 

She compared it to one of my friends asking me to go for a night out, and would there have been a romantic element to that, I said 'no' and she said "well, there you go, then". After that conversation I felt relieved, but now I'm confused.

 

None of it makes sense, and I am convinced she's seeing someone else, and just lied to get rid of any guilt. We haven't spoken for 8 days, and I want to contact her and let her know that I feel I was lied to, or ask whether I was lied to, or what. I just feel like she didn't tell me the truth, and it's causing me a lot of obsessive thoughts and pain.

 

Can anyone give any insight into this situation? I'm so scared of posting this because I think she is seeing someone else and if other people come in here and think that too, it's going to hurt

[shellyf62]

Why did you break up & who broke up with who?

[Lovel]

We hadn't had a good relationship - it had just come to an end. She broke up with me.

[MissCanuck]

You already have your answer, right here:

I asked if she was seeing someone else; she replied 'yes'.

 

I'm so scared of posting this because I think she is seeing someone else and if other people come in here and think that too, it's going to hurt

 

She told you she is seeing someone else. Assume that was the truth, the first time she said it.

 

What followed was likely her way of minimizing it because she could see it hurt you. I know it feels awful, but this is why it's so important to take a lot of time and space away from an ex after breaking up. Hearing what they're getting up to - and with whom - is painful. You need to stay out of contact at least for a good, long while so you can detach. Pressing her for details is only going to set you back.