Confused about ex, weak

[Liamkan]

Hi all, don't really know where to start or what to say as its quite late right now but I'll go with it anyways, first time posting on a forum by the way soo yeah. I met this girl that I can't describe, I met her at a tennis game, we're both 19 and she attracted me like no one else, I approached her and got her number etc, she seemed ecstatic and so was I, we talked everyday since then on the phone, we clicked unbelievablely well, like no one I've met before, we talked for about 3 months and then I asked her out, life couldn't be better, things were incredible I can not describe, she was loyal, gorgeous funny cute full of love and just had a heart of gold, we never argued, not even once things were amazing, we'd play tennis together every week watch movies together, do all sorts of things like hiking going out a lot etc, and had amazing sex, the only problem though, was that she was the party type girl, she'd drink club party etc, at the start she told me she barely did and didn't even enjoy it, but as time went on she'd do it more and more, I strongly dislike these things and girls who do it. I put it behind me though, well atleast tried to, I told her it made me uncomfortable and I didn't like it, she told me I should trust her etc and it's only rarely, I accepted that, was never hard on her or said she couldn't do anything. But now she out of nowhere says she's going ibiza!? She told me she was going with her mates at the start of our relationship but then said she didn't even have to and was second thinking it, and then she says she has to go and it's a once in a lifetime experience!? I don't get it, I really don't. She says it's how she has fun and I should accept that, just as she accepts my hobbies, I don't know. Her friends, I never liked deep down as they don't know how to keep their legs closed or have any morals.. so anyways, after plenty of arguing, nor screaming or insulting though, I came to the conclusion we're too different in our morals etc, she sees Ibiza as acceptable and drinking clubbing etc, I don't. Actually, she told me she thinks that Ibiza isn't technically "right" to go to and it's wrong while in a relationship, but is still going? So I broke up, worst thing I've ever done, the voice of her begging me not to do it, and her telling me how much she loved me pleading me to stay, kills me everytime I think of it. She treated me amazingly well, but I don't know, I couldn't have a future with someone with interests like that. She said she wouldn't touch drugs or any guy or barely drink, what's the point of going there then!? Plenty of other options for holiday, her going throws a lot of doubt on her character to me. But yeah, she's mt first real girl, no one else ever interested me personality wise, well no one was as good looking and had as a good personality, to me atleast. We've been no contact for three weeks until today, broke up a month ago, she's called twice after we initially went no contact, with the last being last week telling me she loved and missed me and the pain is unbearable, and I called her just before I'm writing this, basically saying the same and she was crying, saying she missed me so much, I can't take this anymore, what to do? I love her, immensely but could never live with someone like that, she never seemed like the type and before we dated she said it was something very rare and nothing to worry about, stupid of me to believe but eh, any advice? Thanks, sorry this is all over the place, I'm very exhausted and stressed, thanks