HadaraNight Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 Well, after many years trying to fit in a group of people and failing to do so, I finally concluded I am the one at fault for everything. I've been trying to excuse myself but I can't do that anymore. I even asked my brother if they are better off without me and he said: "Yes". My sister avoids me because she's too terrified of me. I'm like a monster to her no matter how hard I try not to be one... the only way I can make her feel better is to not talk at all or to hide in my room all day long. Everybody around me is annoyed by me... I lost my job last month as well and I have never been fortunate with relationships, whether they are romantic or not. I've never been in a romantic relationship and never will... I am but an . I've tried so much to change myself but I can't! I'm a monster and I can't help it. Maybe the world will be better off without me. Or I know! The world won't even notice when I'm gone! After all, I am nobody, a nobody who's been dreaming all this time. I'm not afraid of dying; I don't think it will be worse than this life. If it is better for the others for me to disappear, then so be it! Maybe it will be the best. I truly don't know what to do. I feel I need to keep trying but at the same time, I feel I have to give up. Guess I'm torn... I've been feeling like this for about a year... it stopped last month (when I traveled to a foreign country all by myself) but now that I've come back from my trip, I feel again the same... What's wrong with me?! I don't understand what this is that I feel... Link to comment
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