Does he need space or are we done?

[khun1]

is it normal for your boyfriend to not feel like texting? we usually text each other everyday and we see each other on the weekend since we live an hour away from each other. My boyfriend always replies and doesn't turn off his phone. He decided to turn off his phone for a while and saw him on facebook and called him again and his phone was on. I asked why he was ignoring me and he said he didn't feel like texting. And he said he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to fight about it with him. So I replied saying that it seems like he is not interested anymore and he stopped replying once again... I don't know how to react or feel. is this normal male behavior? what should I do? Does it sound like he needs space or lost interest?

[Starlight925]

is this normal male behavior?

 

Yes, this is normal male behavior. This isn't normal female behavior.

 

Looking to see if he's on Facebook messenger, and then chastising him because he didn't text you right away, is childish at best, and stalking/nagging at worst.

 

Accusing him of ignoring you is insane, I'm sorry.

 

Maybe he had it turned on in the background. Maybe he turned it on and then stepped into the shower. Maybe he turned it on, and then another friend texted or called him. Maybe he just didn't feel like texting that second.

 

Loosen up, or you will lose him.

[MissCanuck]

is it normal for your boyfriend to not feel like texting? we usually text each other everyday and we see each other on the weekend since we live an hour away from each other. My boyfriend always replies and doesn't turn off his phone. He decided to turn off his phone for a while and saw him on facebook and called him again and his phone was on. I asked why he was ignoring me and he said he didn't feel like texting. And he said he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to fight about it with him. So I replied saying that it seems like he is not interested anymore and he stopped replying once again... I don't know how to react or feel. is this normal male behavior? what should I do? Does it sound like he needs space or lost interest?

 

Is this something that frequently causes friction between you two?

[j.man]

It's normal human behavior, yes. Phones are phones. They're not a bell for you to ring whenever you require attention, and no healthy person wants to be subject to that expectation.

[JaggerJim]

Let him be the one to text first when he feels like texting. Sometimes he probably just sits there and wonders why you text all the time. Some space is good.

[limichelle]

It's best now op to let him come to you. People get busy and can't be texting 24/7. He doesn't want to fight about it because he doesn't want to text. Don't take it personal, he could be having an off day or bad day, or be in a bad mood..many things! Whatever reason, it's his.

 

Just relax and do something you enjoy.

 

Lisa

[nutbrownhare]

Many people don't feel like texting. I personally find it a huge pain in the ***, and I'm thankful my partner's not that keen either.

 

This has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with depth of feelings for the other person.

 

I don't think the way many people use messaging these days, almost as an electronic leash, is very healthy - it promotes dependency on technology rather than taking time to enjoy whatever's going on around you. It's tragic that you also equate it with him losing interest - it probably isn't - and use it as a basis for a fight. Ironically, something that's there to help communication has become something of a sore point between you, and is doing the exact opposite.

 

He'd already told you he just didn't feel like texting. He told you that he didn't want to fight about it. And then, instead of respecting his wishes, you overreacted, put words into his mouth and told him he wasn't interested in you any more. Unfortunately, this kind of game-playing is likely to be a self-fulfilling prophecy if you carry on like this; I wouldn't have responded to that text either.

 

In future, if he tells you he just doesn't feel like texting, just leave it at that, eh?

[khun1]

Let him be the one to text first when he feels like texting. Sometimes he probably just sits there and wonders why you text all the time. Some space is good.

 

Well he usually initiates contact. And sometimes when I don't reply he double texts me as well.

[khun1]

Many people don't feel like texting. I personally find it a huge pain in the ***, and I'm thankful my partner's not that keen either.

 

This has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with depth of feelings for the other person.

 

I don't think the way many people use messaging these days, almost as an electronic leash, is very healthy - it promotes dependency on technology rather than taking time to enjoy whatever's going on around you. It's tragic that you also equate it with him losing interest - it probably isn't - and use it as a basis for a fight. Ironically, something that's there to help communication has become something of a sore point between you, and is doing the exact opposite.

 

He'd already told you he just didn't feel like texting. He told you that he didn't want to fight about it. And then, instead of respecting his wishes, you overreacted, put words into his mouth and told him he wasn't interested in you any more. Unfortunately, this kind of game-playing is likely to be a self-fulfilling prophecy if you carry on like this; I wouldn't have responded to that text either.

 

In future, if he tells you he just doesn't feel like texting, just leave it at that, eh?

 

Hmmm true. I'm just scared to be lied to. In the past I've had exes that would tell me one thing and in the end it wouldn't end up being true.

[khun1]

Is this something that frequently causes friction between you two?

 

Hmm we fight sometimes.

[nutbrownhare]

Hmmm true. I'm just scared to be lied to. In the past I've had exes that would tell me one thing and in the end it wouldn't end up being true.

 

He'd told you he didn't feel like texting, and didn't want to start a fight about it. That sounds quite straightforward, almost brutally honest to me. Why did you think he was lying?

 

It was you, and only you, who turned this into him not being interested any more. It didn't come from him at all. I can almost see his eye-rolling as he read that message!

 

This guy is not one of your exes who lied to you. He is a person in his own right. Stop punishing him for something that your exes did.

[khun1]

He'd told you he didn't feel like texting, and didn't want to start a fight about it. That sounds quite straightforward, almost brutally honest to me. Why did you think he was lying?

 

It was you, and only you, who turned this into him not being interested any more. It didn't come from him at all. I can almost see his eye-rolling as he read that message!

 

This guy is not one of your exes who lied to you. He is a person in his own right. Stop punishing him for something that your exes did.

 

You are right. I just hate the feeling of being ignored by him. Drives me nuts.

[khun1]

You are right. I just hate the feeling of being ignored by him. Drives me nuts.

 

So when he texts me how should I react?

[JaggerJim]

It's when he double texts just ignore it. He can wait.

[DanZee]

It depends on what he's going through at the moment. Do you know if he has anything bothering him at the moment? Everything you've said is all about you, you, you. Too often girls monopolize conversations and smother the guy with talk about how she feels and what she's doing and who she's talking to, and who she met. For a guy, it can get to him. He either needs some time for himself or he may be reevaluating the relationship and he needs some REAL time alone.

[nutbrownhare]

So when he texts me how should I react?

 

Reply to him. Just check your phone when it's convenient to do so, don't be hanging around waiting for him to respond.

[itsallgrand]

Why not apologize to him?

 

It's not right to expect him to jump every time you text because you are insecure. Tell him sorry for accusing him of not caring just because he wanted a few minutes to himself without being tied to his phone.

[khun1]

Reply to him. Just check your phone when it's convenient to do so, don't be hanging around waiting for him to respond.

 

Okay thank you

[shessofly]

Is this just a one day episode?

[khun1]

Is this just a one day episode?

 

Well it happened last night. And he hasn't gotten back to me today.

[Honeycomb8]

The last time someone accused me of not caring and insisted on reassurance bc I wasn't in the mood to text, I ended up dropping them.

 

Please lay off the clingy, insecure and needy behaviour. It's a big turn off. Sometimes people can genuinely want to chill and not have to text anyone or do anything.

Maybe he just wants to text his friends and have some space from you, maybe he wants to clear his head- all this is normal.

 

You trying to guilt trip him isn't.

[ThatwasThen]

Ignoring a text or two is one thing. Fading and not making weekend plans is quite another:

 

Has he ever told you that texting as much as the two of you do was too much for him?

Has he asked you to curtail it? What have you argued about?

 

As per your other thread he never made weekend plans with you which he normally does and he hasn't even had the courtesy to tell you that he has other plans or needs a bit of "me" time. That is something that you should be unwilling to accept for yourself. Giving someone space who hasn't had the courtesy to actually ask for it is a red flag in my opinion. How do you know when you're doing something someone doesn't like if they have been complying up to this point if no communicating has been going on?

 

Did you guys have a talk about exclusivity?