How can I get someone off of my mind?

[Sevtapbeauty92]

I started a new position about 6 months ago and there is this guy that I used to see from a distance and thought he was attractive but then when I saw him from a closer view, I noticed that he was wearing a wedding ring, so I stopped thinking of him completely; but then he would always keep looking and smiling to me for no reason like if he is always watching me, he would also keep acting funny/cool, gets nervous when I am around, and so I started to like him a little but I don't flirt with him or try to talk to him because I know he is married. A few weeks ago, I was in my lunch break alone and he came and said that we never "officially" met and introduced himself and kept talking to me about my hobbies, etc, and while he was talking to me, he mentioned his kids out of nowhere and i felt like he meant to mention them. I got really nervous when he talked to me, and I usually get nervous when he's around so I think he may know that I kinda like him because of that. When he mentioned his kids, I thought he was trying to tell me that he is not interested, so I didn't try to talk to him again or anything but he continues the staring, etc.. then yesterday, he brought his wife and kids to work and walked so happily with them in front of me. To be honest, I am hurt and I know that I should have never let myself feel attracted to a married man and I did try to resist it but his behaviors made me like him and now I don't know how I can get him off of my mind since I see him everyday. Could you please let me know how I can stop paying attention to him and thinking of him? I have been lonely for so long and I haven't been meeting any guys since I graduated college.

[Andrina]

Just train your brain to speak to him and treat him like any other co-worker. Try meetups.com to meet singles in your age group doing activities in a stress-free environment. If you lack good ones in your area, there are always ski clubs, joining a gym, taking dance lessons, no-credit adult education classes like sign language or computer classes. You can volunteer at a zoo or museum. You'd probably be surprised at how many events/activities take place in your area that you never knew existed. Start researching and see what interests you.

[DanZee]

Well, you like the way he looks. You're probably pretty, so that's why he stares at you. Even when you're married, you can't stop basic human attraction. You just need to find someone. After college, it is very difficult to meet people. Andrina has some suggestions. There's also online dating and don't forget the power in just starting a conversation with someone. A lot of guys are lonely too.

[TulipTrees]

There are plenty of married guys cruising for affairs. They look for women who are vulnerable enough or lonely enough to ignore the fact that they are married. The woman herself isn't so important as the fact that she's someone who will agree to sneak around and cheat with him. So he probably hits on lots of girls until someone bites and takes him up on it.

 

Do you really want to play second fiddle to his wife and kids and be his dirty little secret? In your head you are framing him like he's a delicious available man, but all he'd be available for is a sordid affair where you'd only get crumbs and would be wasting you time and alone 99% of the time because he'd be at home with wife and kiddies.

 

So just knock off the flirting and longing looks. Be pleasant but businesslike. Don't have personal conversations. Smile and say good day and walk away if he tries to talk about anything personal. Join some clubs and get hobbies outside work to get busy and try online dating if you don't meet men. Plenty of available guys out there if you quit mooning over him and quit allowing him to waste your time. He's got a wife and kids and all he's looking for is sexual variety and a little sport.. he'll use you if you let him but nothing in that for you so just move on and get busy.

[MrComplicated]

Society says going against your morals and opening up your legs to anybody who's willing to make you feel better about yourself will heal you.. What they forgot to mention is that these promiscuous distractions will subconsciously size up your self esteem to all new heights making the label "" and the acceptance of it an equal trade.

 

All bull aside, taking the initiative to occupy your mind with productive tasks that will help you grow on a personal level is much of efficient in the long run.