my ex ruined my life after saying im not man enough

[penguin551s]

Hello everyone i don't even know where to start ... so there was a girl which is my ex she was trying to get close to me at first telling me all her secrets and she was in a very deep depression , she had no confidence, misreable life and it was me who is handling all her negativity and **** , then she almost begged me to get in a relationship with her and i don't why i just did it , things changed after 6 month of our relationship she had a new girlfriend which is a ***** and they started to be best friends suddenly my ex started to treat me like **** , avoiding me , not answering my texts blah blah blah , then one day out of the blue she dumped me for no reason , im a good looking guy that was really confident , happy , positive , turned into a **** , needy and a clingy guy i begged her many times to give me another chance acted needy she started treating me like **** and i accepted it ( i dont know how i lost my mind ) then one day she told me the reason we are never getting back together because im weak and i will never be able to protect her and ended up saying im not a man just a bicth ( she lost respect to me for accepting the way she treated me and for begging ) im really ashamed of myself and i cant get through the pain of how weak i was and the words she said are always in my head actually my life is ruined for 4 months and still im not getting any better and she is making me as ajoke around everyone in college telling people she dumped me for being a child and making fun of how i treated her nicely when she was treating me like dirt my confidence is down i cant feel happiness anymore i treated her and she poisoned me i swear i loved her , treated her like princess, was always there for her , never mistreated her once , and this is what i get , please i need advice we broke up 6 month ago and my life is getting worse and worse

[happyfrank]

Take control of your life. First you gave ex the chance to be with you. It didn't workout and now it's time to move on.

Who cares what other people think. It's about how you think & feel. You did the best you could and it wasn't enough.

Give yourself some time and start dating again. Besides ex girlfriend sounds toxic and horrible person to be in a relationship with.

 

*Celebrate* On to the next chapter of your life.

 

Good luck.

[JaggerJim]

Her saying "Your not man enough" is total nonsense. She's got a nerve saying that. It's all her, not you.

[Pleasedonot5]

Often times, when others' words hurt, it is a reflection of our vulnerabilities - not their words. In other words, she found one of your insecurities was not being man enough, and now she's pushing those buttons. So, take that insecurity away through one of two means: 1) realize that "manning up" isn't necessary - masculinity is either not something important to you or you're already man enough or 2) man up so her words are meaningless.

 

If you elect #2, you'll "man up" by leaving her utterly and completely behind. If she ever DARES to message you again, you'll not respond. If she continues, you'll block her. If friends or acquaintances ask, you won't publicly bat an eye: say that she's crazy and audibly laugh and THAT'S ALL (repeat: the only thing) you say before changing the subject.

 

Hope this helps! Don't let this woman castrate you. Find your own way without her. Message me if you need.

[penguin551s]

your words were really the best to hear since 6 month

to be honest bro i know im weak atm but i was not before her maybe because the way she treated me

and it was my first experience getting dumped i was always the dumped

ok this going to sound weak too but this was the worst thing ever that happened to me

i was confident, funny , people just want to get close to me , then boom i lost almost my friends because of my depression , cant forget her words they are stuck in my head , she and her new girl are always making fun of me on fb pages , they told everyone how weak i was and already somepeople started to disrespect me ( to be honest i don't blame them ) they way i begged and pleaded was the worst i was blind

the problem is i gotta see her everyday in college and all of my science group are friends with her and she is telling everyone

god bless you and thanks alot bro

[Pleasedonot5]

Not a problem, happy to help.

 

You absolutely should blame the people disrespecting you. They don't deserve you and they are at fault. You can control how you react to them, and anger/cutting them off isn't out of the question.

 

As for the Facebook pages about you, what options do you have available? You're at a university? Head to the Dean of Students office and claim stalking and cyber bullying. Don't let this person treat you this way. She's treating you like a dog; instead of whimpering and submitting, you should bite back.

[penguin551s]

you got me wrong bro ... i didnt mean they made a fb page about me .... they tag each other on fb pages talking about weak people sarcasm images you know .... so i can do nothing about it just ignore it ( but it still hurts ) actually i blocked her on fb i just got the mention thing from a friend and he told me how b** they are .. i cant get them out of my head

[Pleasedonot5]

Yeah, I think you made the right choice by blocking her. You should block her friend(s) too. After your chem lab is up at the end of the semester, is that the last you'll see of those people?

[penguin551s]

unfortunately, i have 1 year left and there is no way to avoid them , unless i change my university and this not the solution of course because i would lose 1.5 year btw i really do appreciate your help !

[Pleasedonot5]

Yeah man no problem! If you feel they are harassing you, there is nothing wrong with going to the Dean of Students office and asking for action to be taken. If it's nothing that can be proven, you're just going to have to win with success. With lab partners/peers, don't talk about them. If they bring it up, just laugh with an attitude of "I can't believe they're still talking about me."

 

Outside of the classroom, get involved with a student organization or fraternity. Those girls don't have to be 100% of your university life experience.

 

And never, never, never disrespect yourself by begging for someone who chooses not to have you, ever again. If you resolve to never beg again out of respect for yourself, you will feel much better about this situation moving forward. Lesson learned.

[penguin551s]

for sure dude ! , i would never ever make the same mistake again even if im going to be lonely forever, yup it seems the only solution to take this battle alone ( nothing proves that they are talking about me ) you helped me to get my confidence back i was really at my lowest point never been in this situation before .... wish you all the best brother and sorry for bothering

respects

[Pleasedonot5]

Not bothering me at all. If you want any more advice or motivation, feel free to PM me!

[Elavohra]

Listen mate, you're are man enough to move on, let her enjoy her time for now, and later trust me, she's going to regret. Block her from everywhere, things would be tough initially but soon you'll take control over things. Now you better work on yourself both physically and mentally so that you become more hot and smart and all she'll be left with is regrets Yo!

[penguin551s]

elavohra ... i hope one day she regret it and begg me to take her back .... your comment raised my confidence bro ... thanks man !

[Elavohra]

elavohra ... i hope one day she regret it and begg me to take her back .... your comment raised my confidence bro ... thanks man !

 

Dude even if she doesn't come back but deep inside she will definitely feel it. Trust me

You just focus on yourself only and only yourself. Keep working out to become hottest personality for yourself and keep enhancing your knowledge so that you become smartest ass for yourself