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How to Deal with This Type of Friend?


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I'm asking this for my buddy:


If you ever had a friend that told you off saying that you have 'insecurities' and other hurtful things, how would you react to them? Would you argue back or just distance/ignore them?


My best friend once told me her opinion about me --my insecurities, things that annoyed her about me, and things which hurt me. I cried at first and distanced myself. But I thought about what she said and she was just telling me the truth. And honestly, I'm thankful she did, it changed me for the better. I'm more aware of my actions now and my relationships with friends improved. My insecurities drove people away basically.

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My buddy G has this friend called Y. Y said that G has insecurities because they don't know who they consider as a friend and they always think people are using them


Do you agree with Y? Does G have insecurities and always (incorrectly) assume that people are using them? ARE people using them?


Anytime people say something 'off' to me, I do take a moment to check myself and see if they have a point. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they are projecting their own weirdness onto a situation. If I don't think they have a point, I simply 'file' it In the back of my mind in case others start saying the same thing (which would force me to reconsider)


As far as what I would do with the friendship, it really depends on the relationship. I would likely not argue back (their opinion is their opinion and arguing is not likely to change it). If it was an otherwise strong relationship, I may choose to ignore the incident and continue (as long as they can drop it too) If it was a weak relationship, I may distance myself from the relationship.

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It sounds more like your friend's trying to control you rather than trying to help you. Could be considered a form of mental abuse. Maybe she's the one with a problem, not you. Just tell her if she doesn't want to hang out with you then go away. You don't have the time to deal with their problems.

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