Am I the crazy one??

[Ian9000]

I've recently become single, me and the ex wife have no chance of working out so I'm trying to meet women. I go to a local bar most weekends and I'm pretty good at starting up conversations and building attraction/getting a number. But that's it... I'm going nuts. I cannot get a first date to save my effing life.

I met a girl this past Thursday. Super cute, blonde, great laugh. After 30 min of chatting she starts touching me/ playing with her hair. After another 20 minutes, she puts my hand between her thighs, looks at my lips, I know she wants to make out (but we are in the crowded bar). Kisses my ear and says "there's no way you are getting away from me tonight ". Her friend takes her outside to smoke and the friend looked like she didn't want me tagging along so I stayed back. Blondie tells me "she's being weird, just come out in a couple of minutes, if I don't come back you better call me tomorrow". Sure enough "poof" she's gone lol. The next day she texts me and says "I'm sorry but my friend was ready to leave, it was nice meeting you tho". I replied "it was great meeting you too, are you coming out tonight?"... Nothing... . This is the third time this has happened, although with the first two ladies I wasn't certain of a home run. Any of you ladies participate in this madness? Also, she didn't seem too drunk, while I was with her she had 3. No stumbles, although alittle giggly.

[Batya33]

Most women who want a potential relationship would not risk behaving this way (although yes I know of happy marriages where they met at a bar and had sex that night). Where else are you meeting people in general and what activities do you do where you meet people other than at a bar?

 

I think that particular woman was interested in flirting and potentially hooking up, then changed her mind later -she had nothing invested other than an hour or so of drunk/tipsy conversation and feeling you up. That's not indicative of a woman interested in getting to know you as a person.

[Hollyj]

Are you looking for sex or a relationship?

[Ian9000]

I'm looking for both. I'd love to date until I met someone that knocks my socks off. I want to be married again. Just not to the first person I meet. Sex is very necessary lol. I work crazy hours as in I get off at 1030 at night. My off days are Tues and wed. I have my son those days. I don't have time for hobbies tragically. I work with all old ladies, so I can't really connect at work. I go out after work and just talk to people. I have a favorite bar, but really I walk around downtown till 1 or 2 am. I enjoy the quiet. I've been out of the dating world for six years lol.

[Batya33]

I'm looking for both. I'd love to date until I met someone that knocks my socks off. I want to be married again. Just not to the first person I meet. Sex is very necessary lol. I work crazy hours as in I get off at 1030 at night. My off days are Tues and wed. I have my son those days. I work with all old ladies, so I can't really connect at work. So I go out after work and just talk to people. I've been out of the dating world for six years lol.

 

Sex is necessary to most people in relationships but it depends on whether it's a priority to you to have sex right away or not or whether you're looking to get to know someone over a period of time in every way including sexually. Figure out what your standards/boundaries are. What I would do is go on your off days to do some kind of activity where you meet people - volunteer or hiking or a gym or some kind of activity that involves socializing. If your son is not yet in school then go to story times at libraries or museum programs where often there are other parents including single mothers, etc. or at least people in your general age group through whom you can meet people. And on line dating sites also are a good resource.