Could lose the best thing that's happened to me? Help!

[lizross1671]

I am 20 years old and have been going out with R for the past 2 years. At the beginning everything was perfect, the first 8-10 months we never argued once, we were both so happy and felt like it was us against the world. We both fell deeply in love with each other and fast. He was so romantic, made me feel so happy, good in bed, not a bad bone in his body - perfect to me.

Then after that, things started going downhill, arguments began over stupid things and us being too stubborn. We tried and tried, and had already booked a month of travelling prior to the arguments starting. A few months in and we were still regularly arguing over silly things, and those silly things could spiral out of control into more personal issues.

We both went travelling together and it was a perfect month, no arguments and the way things used to be. We were so happy and I was so happy it was back to the way it was.

But straight after we get back, and now 2 months after we're back we were still arguing. I found it very hard to be putting up with stupid things all the time (it being both of our faults). Despite the arguments, when we weren't arguing things would be perfect and like the way we first fell in love. I feel the same as I used to towards him when we first started going out, but the arguments are too many.

And now 2 nights ago I ended things because the arguments were getting the better of me. I couldn't handle them anymore. I looked at it as the bad was outweighing the good.

 

I just want to make him happy and for us both to be happy. I feel absolutely heartbroken that I have ended things and just want things to go back to normal without arguments. I don't want to picture life without him. At the time I thought I was doing the best for us by I don't know anymore.

Has anyone else been in a situation similar to this? How would you resolve these stupid irrelevant arguments? And have I done completely the wrong thing letting him go when we are both still so in love?

 

Thank you.

[melancholy123]

Have you considered couples counselling? Sometimes people dont know how to communicate properly or how to ask for what they want.

 

What kinds of things do you argue about?

[seanryder]

No-one can give you advice without knowing what the arguments were about?

[lizross1671]

We argue about very stupid things like a stupid comment that's taken the wrong way and spirals out of control. It's nothing recurrent - we manage to make it through bad times without arguing but it's the stupid constant arguments we can't seem to deal with.

[RainyCoast]

i think you really want to elaborate to get anything useful out of people on this.

 

what silly things? who starts these, him by misinterpreting something? and then he doesn't drop it, or you don't? and they evolve into what kind of "personal issues"?

 

though generally speaking, if you can't not have fights over insignificant stuff, i'd hate to see what happens when something relevant comes up.

 

life is short, and most people are just not "it". wouldn't personally force something combative.

 

but if, as you say "it's both of yours fault", then learning to not escalate things that don't even matter to begin with would be fine even just for yourself.

 

i'd have to wonder what the reason behind allowing something insignificant to escalate is, in your opinion. because i'd have to have a really bloody huge problem with someone to flip over a non-issue, so i guess- you're both displacing something bigger on to minor stuff, and it's the "personal issues" that are bothering you, and why you provoke each other with mini pokes.

[MissCanuck]

You need to give more details about the arguments, OP.

 

Frequent arguing is a sign of a deeper problem between two people. Usually a lot of seemingly silly arguments are a symptoms of much bigger issues in the relationship.