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Obsessed and Jealous With My Girlfriend (NEED HELP!!)


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Ok, this is my issue, I think im way too obsessed and jealous with my girlfriend. im so in love with her and she is too crazy in love with me, we both write love letters to each other and spend all our time together. We're perfect for eachother, and we both see a future with each other. We're very similar to each other, but the biggest and only difference is our lifestyle. She goes out a lot and loves to go to parties with friends and im always indoors, generally just watch series, gym (i go to the gym every day, 2 hours a day) game (we're both gamers), im not some fat lazy guy or anything, im just not social. She has a lot of male friends (friends that are also into her) and gets A LOT of attension, not because she's ty or anything, shes really beautiful (like model beautiful). So a lot of guys try to flirt with her when she goes out or anything. i would go with her but we're in a long distance relationship so its difficult for us to see eachother. we've been together for half a year and we're CRAZY in love with eachother and im gonna go see her soon.


So this is where the obsessiveness comes. every time she goes out with friends (party or just going to the cinema) i can't sleep or eat, I get really really sick when she does (i start to vomit sometimes and the reason for not eatting, im not even hungry and i just cant eat, this has reulted in rapid weight loss, and to top onto that im not going to the gym becuase i cant focus, i just think about her all day when she dose go out), and i dont want to be that boyfriend that says "no you cant go". i dont know what to do?????? i love her so much, but i dont want to feel this way everytime she goes out, i want to love her and i do, just not to the extent where i get sick and cant do nothing. i really do need help anything would help and please be contrustive. if you need more info just ask.


And thank you for reading.

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It sounds like you are smack in the middle or limerence.




It can be great fun for some folks, but me personally? ugh. It's hard to think straight or live your life like a normal person because you are so preoccupied. The last time I went through it I kept walking into traffic because I was thinking so hard about my partner I couldn't see in front of my face. Obsession is double sided. It's easier to feel insecure and unsure of yourself. You haven't had time to really feel safe in the relationship and the feelings are SO BIG.


To tell you the truth I don't know how to fix it. It just takes time. I would suggest you enjoy the highs and do your best to let the lows go. Task yourself to treat her with the respect and autonomy that you would normally intellectually hold yourself to. You don't want to be a controlling partner? You want to show you trust her? Do that. Behave like the person you want to be. And that means taking care of yourself. (I stop eating when I fall hard to and it's stupid) it doesn't matter if you feel like eating. Eat. And hit the gym again. Eating right and getting enough activity is super important to your emotional stability and you need as much of that as possible while the rest of you is so destabilized with the flood of emotion that is limerence.

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Thank you so much, your comment really does help. I know you probably get this a lot but Thank you! It doesn't solve my problem but it does help it. I don't know I guess I just need someone to talk to. I don't really have any friends (not social).

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Oh dear.


You love the idea of her, but if you have never met her, you cannot possibly love her. You have never even had one date with her, OP. At the risk of sounding totally unkind, you need to give your head a shake, my man. These online relationships are just not the real deal.


I think this is a huge part of your anxiety and stress. You don't know her as well as you think you do. That's simply not possible without meeting someone and spending quality time together in person. I am not saying she is off hooking up with other guys, but there is no real security here. You two just don't have the same foundation an in-person relationship has, and you're invested in someone you don't know in real life. That would be unhealthy for anyone. She's out living her life while you sit at home; it's not a good situation for you, OP.

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