Loves spending time with me but doesn't know how serious he wants it to be yet?

[Parry94]

I've been seeing him for about a month now. I'm taking the relationship as it comes, we have a great time, and great sex, but then this comment came out of the blue.

 

"Not sure I want to commit to you stopping over just yet, is that bad? (we are going out to a late film and never mentioned anything about going going over)

My reply was just don't be silly of course it's not.

 

And follows on with "cos I love spending time with you but I don't know how serious I want it to be yet - hope you don't take this the wrong way"

 

Now I've in the past been the definition of paranoid and this time as I really like the guy, am trying to play it super cool... and said I haven't taken it the wrong way at all and want to take the relationship as it comes.

 

 

 

Fast forward and hour later annnnnnnddd the good oL paranoia has set in, we're by no means official or exclusive, but do I take this comment as a good sign or a bad sign... any sign....

This is more to stop my poor paranoid brain whirring away and imploding.

Thanks for reading my whines.

[MissCanuck]

That's a strange comment out of the blue. I would gather he's taking a preventative measure against you coming back to spend the night after the film, even though you hadn't mentioned it. Have you been to his place yet?

[JaggerJim]

In a way it's a good sign that he wants to spend time with you and hang out with you (if that's what he means), I think he's trying to get to know you outside of the bedroom.

 

The only thing you can do is keep seeing him to know for sure.

[trashpunk]

So basically he gets to root and boot you whenever he wants without having to face you in the morning?

 

You're not being paranoid. What you need to be is assertive.

 

Sex is a wonderful thing but it's not the way to a man's heart, it's just sex. If you want to hold a man's interest you need to dangle the carrot for a bit, make him work for it, make him feel like you're worth the effort. By the time you go to bed with him you want it to be something more than just a bit of fun.

 

Sounds like this guy gets to have all the fun without the effort and you're worth the effort! I'd be straight with him about how you're feeling and if he runs screaming for the hills you'll know you dodged a douche bullet. If he wants to stick around and work through those feelings with you then you know he's on board for more than just 'fun.'

[SherrySher]

The way I took it us that he likes to have this casual and wants to make sure you're not expecting more and he can still sleep with you but no commitment and no expectations any time soon or possibly, ever.

 

A guy just doesn't make a random comment like that out of the blue unless he wants to make sure he's setting things up for nothing serious.

[figureitout23]

Sounds like he wants to be able to hit it without the burden of commitment. Tread carefully. If you can handle it, more power to you. Many women cant. If you cant, take sex off the table immediately! You don't want to be here a month from now writing about how you're in love and he refuses to commit or he disappeared because you got clingy. Protect your heart, you're whats most important not his idiotic need to think about how 'serious' he wants to be. Sex will not keep him and if you're like many women YOU will be the one to get attached. If it were me, Id take it off the table until he figured things out.

[kamurj]

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